Apparently consummate local Fire and EMS reporter Dave Statter has been getting some shit for a story of his from earlier this week, which divulged that a firefighter with the Burtonsville Volunteer Fire Department in Montgomery County appears to have broken the rules by bringing a lady friend back to the firehouse after a Saturday night out drinking. That he ratted out this (unnamed) firefighter for doing something that surely plenty of other firefighters have done before him isn’t what’s pissing people off, though. Rather, it’s the disclosure of this dirty little detail:

Her presence in the firehouse became very clear shortly before 5:00 AM on the morning of October 8. The sources say the woman was heading to the bathroom, but instead stopped along the way and used the bunk of a Montgomery County career firefighter as a toilet. That firefighter was asleep in the bed at the time.

From our perspective, everyone should keep their pants on. How could Statter not write about something as hilarious as a firefighter getting woken up by a woman who’s mistaken him for a john? Oh and in case you were wondering (and we know you were), Statter updates today that the answer to the “question most asked” of him over the last two days is… Number 1. At least that’s something of a relief!