I don’t hold any grudges against the United States Military Academy’s football team. But as a pigskin fan living in our nation’s capital, I’m rooting quite hard for Navy to defeat the Black Knights this afternoon in the annual marquee service academy football game. Why? Well, the match-ups for college football’s corporate-sponsored exhibition cavalcade were mostly finalized late last weekend; with an Army win today, the 2009 EagleBank Bowl at RFK Stadium will feature Army taking on Temple.

Oh…boy. Let’s look at the tale of the tape, shall we?

Army has not been to a bowl since 1996; Temple last played a postseason game in 1979. The teams’ combined record between 2000 and the present is an almost unheard of 57-163. (In perspective, this means that both have lost, on average, over 8 games each per year for the last ten.) Temple was kicked out of the Big East Conference due to non-competitiveness in 2005, despite the fact that the conference had just lost three of its founding members to the ACC. Meanwhile, Army has the same problems that Notre Dame does — in short, it’s no longer 1950 — just without the kind of widespread support that the Fighting Irish have. It would not be any kind of stretch to argue that these two programs have been among the least successful over the last decade. The cherry on top? Army and Temple already played once this season, a sloppy 27-13 win for the Owls which featured 20 combined penalties.

Are there stories from both sides which are certainly worthy of attention? Sure — for instance, Temple coach (and ex-Virginia assistant) Al Golden probably deserves a Nobel for leading such a perennial doormat like Temple to nine wins. Is it incredibly superficial to prefer that UCLA — the contingency plan if Army fails to win and gain bowl eligibility — comes to the District to play the Owls? You bet. Are bowl organizers rooting for the Black Knights? It’s likely. (I don’t know too many Californians who are going to travel cross-country just to see the Bruins play Temple at an old, chilly stadium. Army should at least help sell some tickets, which have been available since August.)

But us fans? Please don’t make us watch this game here, Navy. Please.