Anyone seen one of these recently? No? Me neither. When a neighbor emailed around asking whether anyone knew where the fire hydrant was buried, it occurred to me that I had no idea — only my dog would think to notice that sort of thing. Someone else on our street remembered planting a tree nearby and did the good work of locating and shoveling out the fire hydrant. It seems beyond absurd to contemplate a fire in this weather, but snow has proved to be a serious impediment to emergency officials’ ability to control blazes.
So the D.C. Water and Sewer Authority is asking people to clear away snow from the fire hydrants, as well as the storm drains. D.C. Fire and Emergency Medical Services tweeted the same. Sounds like an exhausting request, coming as it does at the end of a fatiguing week of blizzards and in advance of yet another snowstorm. Shoveling snow is arguably a better ordeal to suffer than being burned alive, so it is probably worthwhile to comply. No doubt, lots of hydrants will go uncovered because people do not recall that they are there. When District authorities convene the snow-response conference, they should probably take up the issue of hydrant markers. And flamethrowers.
Greater Greater Washington is also asking District residents to pick up a shovel and lend a hand on a different issue. I’m not so sure. It sounds friendly and civic to pick a Metro station and clear out nearby bus stops so that catching a bus is not a death-cheating affair. But have you seen those snow mountains that have amassed by the bus stops? Clearing these frankly sounds like just a ton of work for poor bastards armed only with their snow shovels and enthusiasm for public transit. People have committed to clearing out Dupont Circle and Columbia Heights, but I say nyet: What are we paying WMATA for, if citizens like you and I must perform this Stakhanovite labor?
Granted, if users don’t clear out the bus stops, probably nothing but spring will. Maybe this is an opportunity to freeze out some of the bus stops on lines that stop too frequently. Plus, I’m not at all sure that civilians can do the shoveling job correctly. Where should the snow go? Into the parking lanes? Won’t the city ticket you for that?
