Who needs a panda? The king of the invertebrate kingdom — that’s actually a very distinguished title for people in the know — has arrived in the District. At the end of January, the National Zoo acquired an awesome giant Pacific octopus, which represents one of the largest figures in the largest branch of the animal kingdom. Invertebrates make up basically all of the animal kingdom: some 95% of all animals lack spine, and 99% of all known living species are invertebrates. Those numbers somehow square.

Our awesome giant Pacific octopus is not all that awesome yet. It currently weighs in at a decidedly non-giant 3 pounds. In the wild, however, giant Pacific octopodes — that is how you say that word — can grow to reach an armspan of 25 feet. That’s, like, a combined 200 feet.

The National Zoo has promised an octopus cam (!) though the link currently refers to an info brief on how awesome invertebrates are. As some of the smartest animals in the world, giant Pacific octopodes probably bring a number of advanced cinematographic tactics to their zoo camera. In the meantime, while we’re waiting for the Herzog of the ocean to make his great American movie, we need to come up with a name for our new eight-armed friend. I, for one, am partial to the sobriquet “Armsmasher” — but Herzog would work.

Pictured: new tiny giant Pacific octopus; giant Pacific octopus in adulthood.