Photos by Crystal Park

Fire on Water. Black Dragons. Yong Han. Hua Fu Youth. Mason Dragons.

Those are surely track titles that Ghostface Killah, Method Man, and Raekwon considered for Wu-Massacre. But would you believe me if I told you that they are also team names from the 9th Annual Washington DC Dragon Boat Festival. You wouldn’t, right? That’s too much Shaolin style for the District to muster.

Don’t worry — the District of Columbia didn’t let you down. Also there to represent the District in the area’s coolest boat race were teams Accenture High Performance Dragons, Booz Allen BetaFish, Ernst & Young — oh it gets worse — Ready Oar Not, Team Bank of America, Northrop Grumman I, and Northrop Grumman II. Sigh.

Based on nothing more than team names, I’m rooting for the Team Titans. Or maybe Northrup Grumman II, because Northrup Grumman I can go straight to hell. Our weekend photographer, Crystal Park, has pictures from the event, and as someone who has recently entered the exciting world of crew, or at least the nearby satellite of trying not to throw my back out while approximating correct rowing form, I will tell you that this is harder than it looks and way, way fun.