Photo by Scott Ableman.

You know, while we’re at it, let’s make a big push for Sidney Crosby and Tony Romo: in a column in tomorrow’s Outlook section, Michael Abramowitz of the Washington Post makes the case that LeBron should come to Washington.

The Wizards signing King James would be the right thing for the NBA, which needs a marquee team in the nation’s capital. It would be the right thing for the luckless basketball fans of Washington. Most of all, it would be right for LeBron, still only 25, who needs to find the proper stage to display his otherworldly talents and to write the storybook saga those talents deserve.

But anyone who follows hoops in this town already knows why this is just never going to happen. Frankly, it’s a little bit like getting a car on your 16th birthday — a nice, shiny 2010 John Wall model — and wondering why there isn’t a Bentley sitting next to it in the driveway. Abramowitz’s main argument hangs on the sole premise that if James doesn’t re-up with Cleveland, Washington will be a) an easier place for LBJ to forge a legacy in than New York or Chicago, both by his own admission more lucrative and glamorous destinations, and b) a better basketball destination than Dallas, Miami or New Jersey, the other major contenders for James’ services.

Of course, you have to pay state income tax in D.C. Our owner, while a nice guy, is not Jay-Z. And I’m not sure how much water the argument that the best basketball player since Jordan wouldn’t want to go to New York or Chicago because he might not be able to hack it really holds. But back to the point at hand; the belief that LBJ would want to come to D.C. is cut off at the knees by the fact that, you know, D.C. hates the crab dribbler.