For this season’s Top Chef DCist will be bringing you our “woulda, coulda, shoulda” take on how the cheftestants are faring. Every week we will highlight one individual who was doin’ it wrong.

It’s always exciting when a new season of Top Chef starts. There are new faces we’ll grow to love (and hate), new dishes, and a whole lot of Tom and Padma. (And seriously, there was some more of Padma for the men to drool over. Motherhood suits her body quite nicely.) The D.C.-based location lets us watch the show while combining two of our favorite activities: judging contestants on Top Chef and judging outsiders for totally misunderstanding D.C. And, fear not, you’ll hear plenty of both.

We all know that half the fun of Top Chef is sitting back and mocking the contestants’ terrible ideas (phallic Cheeto dipped in Snickers, anyone?) and remarking that you could make a better dish. So without further ado, let’s get down to discussing this week’s winner in the “you have got to be kidding me” category. (Spoilers after the jump.)