When you buy a ticket for something billed as a “musical comedy” involving drag queens, a Christian televangelist and a beauty pageant, you come expecting a raucous, fabulous, over-the-top, and — let’s be honest — a quite filthy good time. Instead, the Fringe Festival’s The Miss Teen Jesus Pageant commits the worst sin for this type of production: meekness.
The convoluted plot is as follows: the inexplicably crazy Christian daughter of two gay dads is determined to go to Southern Methodist University. The two dads, seemingly oblivious to the fact their daughter is outspokenly ashamed of their lifestyle, are broke, so they (also inexplicably) decide to host (and rig) a Miss Teen Jesus Pageant for her, so she can “win” her tuition money. Luckily for the playwright, we don’t need to get into whatever Miss Teen Jesus is supposed to say about Christians, gays or moral reletivism (it doesn’t say squat), because the simplistic jokes and astounding plot holes are far, far overshadowed by other issues. Most of the actors painfully struggled through their lines throughout the entire performance, or delivered them by turning to the audience as if searching for cue cards … or approval. Even worse, the musical numbers — sweet Jesus, the musical numbers!
First, no one in the cast can actually sing, apparently; a fairly talented chorus of five [Disclaimer: The Heather Goss at alto is, uh, not me.] is trotted in each time to sing back-up to a too-softly played tape recording to which the actors lip-synch. LIP-SYNCH. In the tiny Mead Theater, where no audience member is sitting more than 25 feet away, no less. The numbers are classic religious hymns supposedly “updated” by music arranger Ben Camp, though the only recognizable “contemporary” updates were, for example, the seriously weak and bizarre drugged-out, clothes-on “sex” scene where nothing happens except Overacting Gay Dad #2 making the O-face for far too many excruciating minutes while the chorus sings “visions of rapture.” Christ.
Credit where it’s due: Peter Packin is entertaining as the drag queen Chris (with an obligatory and well-delivered “Miss J.R.’s” joke) and Lobo Lagodi does a fine job as the obnoxious and slightly creepy televangelist. If only that were enough to save this truly damned Fringe offering.
Abandon hope all ye who enter, The Miss Teen Jesus Pageant has three more performances: July 17 at 5 p.m, July 20 at 6 p.m., and July 24 at 9:45 p.m. at the Mead Theatre at Studio Theatre.
