Sweet fancy moses. If you had thought that the mayoral race between Adrian Fenty and Vince Gray was already crazy, you probably weren’t prepared for today’s early-morning revelation that, yes, Mayor Fenty has rappers battling for him. We shouldn’t be that surprised, considering that Fenty ally Ron Moten has been pushing the incumbent at various go-go events; a Vince Gray diss track was just the next logical step. The best part: Moten tells Mike DeBonis that this is the first of three (!) pro-Fenty cuts he’s commissioned. Listen, if you dare:

But Stinky Dink — known mainly for his 1991 hit “One Track Mind” — isn’t messing around, people. This is real talk.

• Despite being “politically raw” (and this was confirmed several times upfront), Stinky Dink is “a playa.” So obviously, you can take it from him that Mayor Fenty (Dink’s “dude”) is the better choice to lead D.C. than Vince Gray.
• Mayor Fenty has offered “a lot more sweat” and there’s a lot “less blood and tears.” This editor can’t personally verify the sweat part of that claim. I mean, Fenty has been out and about canvassing in this heat with relative frequency, so, I guess.
• Dink (or should I say Stinky?) is a aficionado of crime statistics (“got the lowest murder rate in ’bout 40 years”) and the Summer Youth Employment Program (“22,000 jobs for the young’uns / so they can do somethin’ constructive for the summer.”) Though, he may need to check his math on the latter.
• On Fenty’s commitment to building parks and rec centers in the city: “Crime gone down like wheels on hills and the young’uns with the skills got football fields.” To be fair, I guess it would have been tough to work “Sinclair Skinner” in there somewhere. Man’s got to keep his flow, you know.
• “About to press my slacks then address the facts / you don’t mess with success, we can check the stats / I can put ’em in your face like aggressiveness / so you can see Vince Gray can’t mess with that / the city is bustlin’, we under construction / before Mayor Fenty, we wasn’t building up nothing / Southeast shinin’ like a fresh-cut diamond / now that take work, and work take grindin’.” (I really have nothing to add to this, it pretty much speaks for itself.)

Conclusion: the worlds of politics and hip-hop should rarely intersect so directly. Talking points just don’t make great rhymes. (Case in point: 2006’s “Orange the Democrat.”) That said, I guess it’s not too bad for a cut that steals its hook from a song about splitting the cost of a dimebag.