Photo by Synapped.

Adventures in Craigslist is a whenever-we-find-something-interesting series in which we dive headfirst into the vast complexities of the Washington region’s Craigslist. Today: it sure beats buying one at the grocery store!

Turkey. It’s one of the most versatile foods out there. Every Thanksgiving, I’ve always been fortunate enough to be able to enjoy some bird in several different ways — straight up, smothered with gravy, between two slices of bread, cold the day after. The perfect straight man to the wildly addictive cranberry sauce, turkey holds a very special place in both my stomach and my heart.

Of course, this Craigslist advertiser is looking for someone who only possesses the latter half of that appreciation.

I have three bronze turkeys that would make wonderful pets. I’d prefer they be pets rather than Thanksgiving Dinner. They are just too beautiful to think of being put on a dinner plate. Two are boys and one is a girl. They are less than a year old so they will grow a bit bigger and their new winter feathers from molting are coming in beautifully. Turkeys really do make good pets. They don’t make noise except to gobble at times and they are great for eating bugs and fertilizing your gardens but don’t come in and destroy your garden like chickens sometimes do. Small Rehoming Fee $20 each. Thank you.

They only gobble at times and they are good at eating bugs? What a deal! (Though this “Rehoming” fee has us worried. Don’t get all Pepco on us, anonymous Warrenton turkey dealer!) All I know is that I sincerely hope that no one in my apartment building is reading this and looking for a way to annoy the hell out of everyone else.