Photo by michael starghill.

Not only is former Mayor Adrian Fenty going to be a paid speaker — $20,000 a pop! — and Oberlin professor, but as WAMU reports, he’ll also be advising language instruction company Rosetta Stone. There’s only scant details on what exactly Fenty will be doing, but we assume he’ll be putting his leadership skills to use in the 31 languages Rosetta Stone offers instruction in. “How to Make Tough Decisions in More Than 30 Languages,” if you will. “Au moment où je serai de retour de cette promenade à vélo, je veux résultats scolaires ont augmenté de 30 pour cent,” perhaps. (By the time I get back from this bike ride, I want school scores to have gone up 30 percent.) Or “Deus te ajude se você não colocar uma ciclovia em 395 até amanhã.” (“God help you if you don’t put a bike lane on 395 by tomorrow.”) So many languages, so much potential!