Photo by Chris Rief aka Spodie Odie.

The District of Columbia has often experienced lengthy battles between communities and business owners over zoning. But to the city’s credit, we don’t recall there ever being a time when the city’s political leadership went after a Girl Scout cookie stand. But that’s what’s happening in Hazelwood, Missouri — the Mills family, which had set up a rather successful Thin Mint dispensary in their front yard, is now suing the city after Hazelwood’s officials told them that they were breaking the zoning regulations by setting up in their driveway.

Q Why do you think Hazelwood is pursuing this?

[Ms. Mills]: I think it’s their pride. They’re afraid of saying they were wrong. I wish they would just say, “We were wrong,” but I don’t think they will now. We’re not even drug dealers, but I guess we’re easier to catch. As long as the girls aren’t harming anyone, why don’t they leave it alone?

[…]

Q Can you sum up Hazelwood’s position?

[Mr. O’Keefe, Hazelwood city attorney]: I’m not sure how much you know about zoning, but one of the principles is you live over there, you work over there, you shop over there. Not never the twain shall meet, but those are the general limitations. The prohibition against conducting sales in residential areas is to protect the peace and repose of residential neighborhoods.

[…]

Q The law aside, does going after Girl Scouts make you feel a little Grinch-like?

[O’Keefe]: Personally, would I prefer some people not to try to make something out of it that it’s not? Yes. Am I embarrassed to defend the principles and to consider them important? No.

Now, this isn’t Hazelwoodist, so let’s bring things full circle. The District’s laws covering the zoning issues brought up in the Hazelwood lawsuit are far more lenient, allowing for sales, retail and use as the “home office of a…manufacturer’s representative,” just so long as the resident has procured a Home Occupation Permit. Then again, since the District owns a large number of front yards and driveways in the city, maybe it’s only a matter of time before someone gets busted for selling cookies on city property without permission.