Photo by Mr. T in DC.

Now, look — I know that most of you probably had plans to jump into a local waterway real soon. But it seems an especially silly idea in the wake of Hurricane Irene, which may have dumped as much as “200 million gallons of rain mixed with raw sewage” around the region.

The Post has more on what’s in store for you should you decide that the government has no business telling you where you can swim, or how much sewage you can ingest:

Like Maryland, sewer overflows are common in the District, where antiquated Civil War-era pipes are often overwhelmed, said a spokeswoman for DC Water.

When rain runoff combines with water that’s flushed and drained in businesses and homes, the system backs up. Rather than allow water to bubble up in sinks and toilets, wastewater systems release it into the nearest body of water.

As a result, the level of fecal coliform that contains human waste far exceeds acceptable levels following rains. It is one reason the District’s health department maintains a ban on swimming in the city’s rivers and creeks.

See, you’re far better off leaving it to the professionals, kids. In case you want more information on all that poop currently clogging your usual kayaking path, D.C. Water has some basics.