Photo by Nikoo’s Photos.

Good morning, Washington. Before we get to the morning’s headlines, a big thanks to Martin Austermuhle and our wonderful staff, who did a great job of holding things down while I was off dominating far easier pub trivia games on vacation. It seems as if, at least politically, things are just as cranky over on the Hill as they were before I left. Both Republicans and Democrats are angry with President Barack Obama over higher taxes on the wealthy and his jobs initiative, respectively. Hey, with the cost of borrowing movies and streaming television shows going through the roof for Americans, who can blame Congress for wanting to limit costs, amirite?

D.C. Crime Cameras Stink: At least that’s what the Urban Institute claims — the Times reports that the Institute’s study on the efficacy of the city’s CCTV cameras shows that they “failed to reduce crime as has occurred in other cities, in part because of the way the cameras are set up and monitored.” After an initial dip in the number of crimes committed near the cameras, the number of crimes near cameras returned to pre-installation levels in 2007 and 2008.

WaPo Ed Board Blasts Virginia Law Affecting Abortion Clinics: A new Virginia regulation which will likely force the closure of most of the Commonwealth’s abortion clinics is “absurdly onerous and utterly unnecessary,” says the Washington Post’s editorial board. The laws, which require existing abortion clinics to conform to several structural regulations usually reserved for new hospitals, will likely cripple operations at nearly all of Virginia’s 23 clinics. “The new regulatory regime provides antiabortion activists a shameful victory and an end run around a procedure deemed a constitutional right under the law of the land,” says the editorial.

Drug Mules Aren’t Doing It For A Love Of The Job: The Examiner was obviously piqued by our list of the five strangest things that drug smugglers had used to try and sneak illicit materials through Dulles, expanding that query and digging up a couple of other interesting carrying devices — juice boxes, for instance. The paper also comes up with the shocking revelation that most drug smugglers take such jobs because they need money. (That’s almost as surprising as the news that those police lineups you see on television are full of bunk.)

Briefly Noted: Remembering Columbia Heights’ professional basketball team…Gas is expensive, but that doesn’t mean you can jack a tanker and get away with it…Fire in College Park injures firefighters…Police investigating emerging pattern of sexual assault in Prince George’s County…Baby drowns in Reston hotel…Not the pumpkins!

This Day in DCist: In 2010, we spoke with Ward 2 Councilmember Jack Evans; in 2009, Loudoun County residents weren’t buying hyperlocal media; four years ago, we took a closer look at Georgetown’s Old Stone House.