Ten journalists-turned-comedians took to the stage and tested their wit at last night’s fourth annual Commedia dell Media. The verdict? Many of them could, in fact, quit their day jobs. (If stand-up were any more stable and lucrative than their chosen professions.) Del. Eleanor Holmes Norton, Councilmember Jim Graham (D-Ward 1) and actual professional comedian Dennis Regan were on hand to deliver American Idol-style instant feedback and crown the best in show.
It wasn’t exactly a fair fight. The eventual winner, Matthew Cooper of the National Journal, has been dabbling in comedy on the side for decades. In fact, Cooper was named Washington’s Funniest Celebrity way back in 1998. Contestants like Rachel Dry, the deputy editor of the Post’s Outlook section, were probably still writing for their high-school newspapers back then, but she is a veteran of Washington’s open mic scene. Others, like Dry’s colleague Lisa Bonos and DCist’s very own Benjamin R. Freed, were virgins to the comedy stage.
Cooper’s winning routine was a biting synopsis of the 2012 Republican presidential primary field, as well as impressions of former Sen. John Edwards and former President Bill Clinton. The jokes on national politics could have easily found their way into Jay, Dave or Conan’s nightly monologues.
But the consensus from every single person I spoke with after the show at Riot Act Comedy Theater was that WAMU’s Elahe Izadi was robbed. Izadi, who won the audience over with jokes about her Persian heritage, is another journalist who lists stand-up comedy as part of her bio. Riz Khan of Al-Jazeera English opened the evening with a funny bit about why the terrorists hate us. NPR anchor Jamie McIntyre closed the night poking fun at his transition from commercial news to public radio and left me wanting more. And, apparently, Graham would have given the top prize to Bloomberg agriculture reporter Alan Bjerga if it was only up to him.
Perhaps a handicapped system or best newcomer award for the newbies is in order. That may have given Freed a chance to take home some hardware. DCist’s Associate Editor opened with his enjoyment of coming up with new words every day to cover the Occupy D.C. protesters, took some digs at Norton, and ended with his ode to this site’s notorious commenters. Said Freed:
“When DCist announced they were hiring me, one of [the commenters] wanted to know a bit more about me—not my professional background, but wanted to know if I was into certain things. And the list was very specific. It was: Dan Snyder, Marion Barry, midgets, dildos, and warm yogurt. And yes, that’s quite a combination but it got me thinking. On the Internet there’s this thing called Rule 34. And if any of you don’t know what Rule 34 is, it’s if you could imagine anything in the world, no matter how random or depraved, somewhere on the Internet it exists in a pornographic form. So every time I think of this list of things commenters wanted to know what I was into, I just think somewhere out there there’s some doctored photograph of me, the hated owner of the Redskins, the mayor-for-life and a bunch of midgets rolling around in warm yogurt and tossing dildos at each other.”
Norton left Rule 34 alone, but took issue with Freed’s standing to rib her on voting rights. “The only guy who can get away with hitting me on D.C. not having the vote,” chided Norton, “is named Colbert.”
Graham also relished the opportunity to turn some tables. “Wow, at long last. At long last I get to judge DCist,” Graham said while, I imagine, evilly tapping his fingers together. Reading what he said was a prepared statement, Graham offered: “DCist. So well written, so brilliant, so insightful. Who is this Bryan Weaver guy?” It was an apparent jab at our love of his 2010 primary opponent’s campaign videos and some other positive coverage. Jim, you won with over 50 percent of the vote. Just let us enjoy some campaign videos!
For a feel of the jokes told by some of the other participants, City Paper has a rundown of highlights.
Credit for last night is due as well to emcee Nick Galifianakis, a Post cartoonist and cousin of Zach, for picking up steam throughout the night hurling a fake Scottish brogue and gay jokes toward Graham, who took it all in stride. Their rapport was so good that at the end of the night Galifianakis even asked for a job on Graham’s staff.
Commedia dell Media raised about $2,000 for local nonprofits Writopia and Reach, which administer literacy and writing programs to D.C. youths. If you missed the night of comedy but still want to contribute to these organizations while (maybe) having some fun, Journopalooza, a battle of bands featuring journalists, takes place March 9 at The Hamilton restaurant.
