Well, then. Alternatively, we would have gone with:

>> “Obama Wants Chips and Drink Too, Boehner Insists That U.S. Can Only Afford Sandwich.”

>> “Obama Takes Sandwich From Fan of Argentine Soccer Squad, American Soccer Teams Outraged”

>> “Obama Calls Sandwich ‘Sub’, Republicans Divided on Whether to Demand it be Called ‘Hoagie’ or ‘Grinder'”

>> “Obama to American People: ‘Let Them Eat Subs'”