The Dismemberment Plan at Eyeclops in Fredericksburg, Va. (Photo by Steve Rogovin

Our excitement was primed when The Dismemberment Plan announced two shows in venues one quarter of the size of their packed and manic shows from 20 months ago. However, the intimate, sweaty sets gave us new cause for excitement: they debuted eight new songs. Eight!

Yet, while respect is due to the EIGHT NEW SONGS, and to the venues and the crowds, every Dismemberment Plan show has left us with the urge to run a post full of Shit Travis Morrison Says.

So, what the hell? Let’s do it. The Plan’s voluble frontman is a master banterer prone to hilarious onstage stunts. For instance, he finished The Dismemberment Plan’s set at Eyeclopes in Fredericksburg, Va. on Saturday with a mannequin’s torso on his head while performing “Girl O’Clock.” Here are some of our other favorite memorable moments from the weekend.

Baltimore, August 10:

“We’re all about the mediocre in the Dismemberment Plan” (After having audience members model their size Medium T-shirts)

“Next time you’re driving down the Fairfax County Parkway coked out of your brain, rock that thing!” (On the new song “White Collar, White Trash”)

“Are you ready for my little Ben Folds moment? Me either.” (Prior to playing their new song, “Daddy Was a Real Good Dancer”)

“It’ll be out tonight. Don’t you know how the Internet works? You go home and sort of touch it and the album is there.” (On when their new album will be released)

“Next time you see us, it’ll be just a ukelele.” (As a response to their equipment breaking before every song.)

“Can I get an overwhelming amount of that in my monitor? So that it’s the only thing I hear? So that it destroys my will to live?” (A request to their sound technician for drum machine in his monitor.)

“I accidentally bought a guitar that stretches.” (As he bobbed up and down with a loose guitar strap.)

“This is our space for me and Eric and for Jason and Joe to be men. To take off our shirts and take off our pants and talk about our 401ks and our 501cs.” (His plea for the crowd not to rush the stage during “The Ice of Boston.” Eric Axelson actually is very involved in Fredericksburg All Ages, a 501c3 organization that organized the Fredericksburg show)

Fredericksburg, Va., August 11:

“We call it ‘Deadmau5.’ It doesn’t sound like Deadmau5. That’s how it goes with bands.” (On the temporary name for their new song.)

“Some days you guys can look forward to being old and funky too.” (On the tempo of one of their new songs.)

“We’re not going to shout out every Virginia city. We’re playing a show. (switching to high pitched gravelly) Roanoke! Bristol! Helmet! Mineral!” (On account of the crowd yelling out names of other Virginia cities that he hadn’t yet mentioned when introducing “White Collar, White Trash.”)

“This is the thesis, antithesis, synthesis part? You like those big words? I don’t know what they mean.” (Yeah… we don’t even know where that one came from.)

“This is the Jukebox the Ghost part of the show—which means it’s the part that sounds like music.” (Introducing “Daddy Was a Real Good Dancer.”)

“I currently have my foot down on a mannequin with an enormous bulge in its crotch. You’ll think of something.” (His request for the audience to come up with something funky to do during “The Ice of Boston” that did not involve bum rushing the stage.)

BONUS! Shit Eric Axelson Says:

“This is like if an anteater needed a gas mask.” (On the shape of an instrument he played during a new song.)