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One of the remarkable things about our massive federal bureaucracy the number of law-enforcement offices that go mostly unnoticed in our quotidian lives. For instance, did you know the Social Security Administration has a division focused on investigating Social Security fraud and other crimes against the service that benefits seniors, disabled workers, widows and children? Well, it does. Part of the Office of the Inspector General’s purview is to combat attempts to defraud the social safety net.

Last month, Social Security solicited bids to supply the agency with 174,000 hollow-point bullets. Among the websites to notice the purchase request was Infowars, a clearinghouse of all your favorite conspiracy theories. (Birth certificate, 9/11 truth, yada yada yada.)

Game’s over, grandma!:

It’s not outlandish to suggest that the Social Security Administration is purchasing the bullets as part of preparations for civil unrest. Social security welfare is estimated to keep around 40 per cent of senior citizens out of poverty. Should the tap run dry in the aftermath of an economic collapse which the Federal Reserve has already told top banks to prepare for, domestic disorder could ensue if people are refused their benefits.

Um, not quite. Though it’s a bit alarming to read that Social Security is buying bullets, it’s not quite as jarring when reading that its law-enforcement division is a 295-officer operation spread across 66 offices. While it’s fair to argue that the number of bullets might seem a bit high, Social Security said in an August 16 news release that most of the ammunition is used by Social Security agents during quarterly firearms training sessions.

Moreover, it’s standard operating procedure for law enforcement training, the Associated Press reports:

“For practice ammunition, they do not have to be hollow-points, but hollow-points are the normal police round used for duty ammunition due to their ability to stop when they hit an object as opposed to going through it and striking more objects,” said William J. Muldoon, president of the International Association of Directors of Law Enforcement Standards and Training.

“Six hundred rounds per year for training, qualification and I would assume to carry on duty is not out of line at all,” said John W. Worden, director of the University of Missouri’s Law Enforcement Training Institute. “Hollow points are carried by law enforcement all over the country and are probably the preferred type of ammo no matter what caliber.”

But the isolationists and survivalists who make up Infowars’ readership weren’t the only crackpots to be alarmed by Social Security’s ammo needs. Jay Leno attempted to make fun of it in a recent monologue. “What senior citizens are they worried about? I mean, who’s going to storm the building?” Perhaps an old person laughed at Leno’s joke. Or hid behind their plastic-wrapped Barcalounger because Uncle Sam is coming to get them.