Photo by beerboybeltsbrews
With D.C. United’s first playoff match in half a decade coming up Saturday evening at RFK, I asked my Gothamist counterpart, Dan Dickinson, to join me in providing a little colorful insight on the match-up. Oh, right—we don’t really get along, and our teams are bitter rivals. Oh well.
Dan: So. Pabs. It appears, from the general reaction of the D.C. United fanbase this afternoon, that they have been hard done. That a crime has been committed, that a Don Garber conspiracy is in the works, and that United have been totally and utterly screwed. I appreciate that your coach and players have been a little more rational, but really, is this what not making the playoffs for five years does to a supporter’s group?
Pablo: Dan, so nice to see you again. Club allegiances aside, I’m pleased to see you seem to have survived the flood, with Internet access, even. Happy to see that Jersey City isn’t completely devastated (not more than it normally is, at least.) Yes, our supporters are a strange herd—yours would be too if they’d had the stadium rug pulled out from under them three times—but you can’t blame them entirely for their response. I think the key difference in our responses here is that we’ve won things, you know? Trophies, cups, awards. I suppose anybody associated with the Red Bulls is, well, used to losing. We care about our team. It makes it easy to get carried away, I guess.
Dan: Wait—you know about the hurricane? Because based on the tone deaf response to the game swap, I was worried the news hadn’t actually made it down to the D.C. area. I’m a little sad we’re not playing at home on Saturday, to be honest—even without power, Red Bull Arena is in better shape than RFK. But let’s spare everyone a rehash of all the jokes from our last trash talk and try to focus on the games that are coming up. How are you feeling based on your last 6 games? A nice unbeaten run, but maybe not the caliber of opponent you need in a run up to the playoffs.
Pablo: I gotta say I feel pretty good. Wins are wins. I do understand that was an easy stretch of games. Seven matches, only one playoff worthy opponent. But do you honestly think that RBNY would have handled those opponents—on the road, no less? And let’s say we took Thierry Henry out of the picture (I’d say he’s your DeRo equivalent.) I feel like we’re still dealing with a Red Bulls side that’s streaky – and I still feel like there’s this overlying sense of discontent in the locker room. Your XI has never really gelled this year – Henry is still busy calling his teammates out, even the ones who are MLS Best 11 material and have scored 18 times this year. Frankly—and this is an objective statement, honestly—I feel better about United’s chances than I do about New York’s.
Dan: Take Henry out of the picture? Like when we ran five straight wins in April and May following his injury? The team hasn’t gelled because I don’t think Backe has played the same starting XI in two straight games yet this year. As for Henry-Cooper – Henry wants Cooper to play smarter, and Coop being just so very grateful to be playing with such quality talent will take his lumps and keep knocking them in. You feel better about United’s chances? They barely beat Chivas (at RFK!) and Toronto, and lucked into a draw in Portland. Sure, NY’s cohesion is lacking—but at least they can dominate a weaker opponent.
Pablo: I will say that I’ve been concerned at times this year with the way United has played down to their opponents. But even still – we lost those games last year. The gimme games, we didn’t take those last year. I’ll take a draw on the road in Portland—you’ve been there, it’s not an easy place to play. A cheap 1-0 victory at Toronto on a blustery, 45 degree day? I’ll take it. Let’s talk head to head here. I will openly admit that United’s performance in June against the Red Bulls left a lot to be desired. I felt like United weren’t even there in the first half. But take that performance away—who’s been better this year, head to head? I’ll give you a pass on the first game of the series, as I don’t want you having any Chris Pontius related PTSD attacks, but even in the third matchup, you guys rode a, uh, Wilman Conde header to a lackluster draw? Come on man. You can’t ACTUALLY think that the Red Bulls line up favorably against United. If you do, maybe there’s something in that post-sandy tap water that’s making you ill.
Dan: You want a mulligan on the July RBA game? I’m sure the Red Bulls want a mulligan on the early game at RFK, where they came out terribly. And did either team really look great in the final one at RFK? Both of your goals were gifts when Bill Gaudette decided he was part of the back four. I have some reservations about Luis Robles, but positioning isn’t one of them.
I don’t just think RBNY lines up favorably against DCU, I think they line up better. I think you’ve got an incredibly hungry Thierry Henry, a Kenny Cooper who scores when he DOESN’T want to, and Tim Cahill finally in running-through-brick-wall form. You have Dax McCarty who’s put in an MVP-level performance this year, you’ve got Heath Pearce helping to settle the back line – you even have Rafa Marquez contributing. RAFA MARQUEZ, CONTRIBUTING. I can’t believe I just wrote that. Meanwhile, your superstar DP is injured, your other DP barely sees the field, and your most consistent scorer right now seems to be Lionard Pajoy.
Pablo: Lionard Pajoy is indefensible. As in, I can’t defend him (other teams have little to no problem defending him.) As for our DP’s—DeRo will be back sooner than later (I saw him sprinting at practice earlier today) and Hamdi Salihi is effective in his super-sub role. Yes, it’s not what we anticipated, but it’s something. Let’s cut to the chase here. Predictions. United isn’t about to lose at home—we haven’t done it since March, after all. I’ll say United takes the home leg 3-1, then fights to a 2-2 draw at a hopefully fully functional Red Bull Arena. As I gleefully spray the bottle of champagne I’ve smuggled into that hellhole across the press box, the Moët will mix ever so perfectly with your tears.
Dan, when United advances and the pink cows head to pasture for the winter, you’re more than welcome over here at DCist! You could be an apprentice panda coverage specialist! Now, I’ll let you have the final word—we’ve already done you guys one huge favor this week: why stop now!
Dan: 1-1 at RFK, then a 3-1 NY win at home on a cold Wednesday night in Harrison. And only thing I’ll be contributing to DCist is a grief stricken picture of Ben Olsen after Clever Hans crushes his dreams of winning a cup from the bench.
