Les Liaisons Dangereuses closes Sunday at Shakespeare Theatre Company. (Gaspard Leclerc)
FRIDAY
THEATER: Anyone who has experienced the dating scene in D.C. is likely to feel a tickle of recognition when presented with the salacious world of Shakespeare Theatre Company’s current offering of Les Liaisons Dangereuses, a modernized, stylish revival by France’s Theatre de l’Atelier. Check these lines out and tell me it couldn’t refer to some bro trying to get laid on a Friday night in AdMo: “He never opens his mouth without calculating what damage he can do.” Performed entirely in the original French, with English surtitles offered for non-Francophones via a screen placed wayyyy up toward the ceiling (haha, nice prank you French!), the plot will be known to anyone who watched either the 1988 film adaptation Dangerous Liaisons or that one from the ’90s in which Buffy the Vampire Slayer makes out with a girl. In the 1988 DL, John Malkovich starred as Vicomte de Valmont, an expert at seducing women who’s, okay, also maybe a little rapey sometimes—as one character puts it, “You are adept at asking questions which preclude the answer no.” What’s wonderful is that, on this production, Malkovich sit in the director’s chair—something he should perhaps do more often. The costumes and setpieces are lush, the sex is provocative and the nudity is boldly unselfconscious. And the dialogue is darkly funny, particularly when this Valmont (Yannik Landrein) and his partner-in-crime ex-girlfriend Marquise de Merteuil (Julie Moulier) are plotting their cynical chess moves with peoples’ hearts. Need more reasons to go? There’s a lengthy, MANtastic sword fight toward the end that may be the first use of special effects via spray bottle. Closes Sunday. (Alexis Hauk)
DANCE: The Maida Withers Dance Construction Company performs Collision Course—a.k.a. Pillow Talk at the George Washington University’s Dorothy Betts Marvin Theatre (800 21st Street NW) this Friday and Saturday. 8 p.m. Tickets $12-22
BEER: Aviator Beer Co., based in Fuquay-Varina, N.C., enters the D.C. drinking market tonight with a lineup of draughts at Meridian Pint (3400 11th Street NW). Among the brews are an oatmeal stout, a pair of winter warmers, an India pale ale and a red ale.
WIGGIN’ OUT: Don your favorite wig and join the Eighth Annual Wig Walk, in which people hit up three bars in Adams Morgan while wearing their favorite fake hair—and all for a good cause. Things kick of at 6 p.m. at Grand Central (2447 18th Street NW); buy your tickets for $20 here ahead of time and take advantage of drink specials.
SATURDAY
SANTA AND PETS: Want a photo of your dog sitting on Santa’s lap? Of course you do. The Hotel Monaco (700 F Street NW) is hosting the Washington Humane Society’s Santa Paws event from 2 to 4 p.m. For a $20 donation, you can get a snap of your best friend cozying up to Santa, who will hopefully be a fully vetted, not-creepy Santa.
COMEDY: The comedian and 30 Rock actor Judah Friedlander—aka the guy with the hats—celebrates Hanukkah with Chanu-Comedy: A Festival of Laughs at Sixth and I Historic Synagogue (600 I Street NW), joined by comedian Louis Katz. 8 p.m. $25 in advance, $30 day of.
OPERA: Head to the Kennedy Center Millennium Stage (2700 F Street NW) this Saturday for highlights from the Washington National Opera’s upcoming production of Hansel and Gretel. 6 p.m. Free.
ROLLER DERBY: The DC Rollergirls bring the season’s beatings with a home team double-header at the D.C. Armory (2001 East Capitol Street SE). Watch the Cherry Blossom Bombshells face the Majority Whips, followed by the DC DemonCats roll against Scare Force One. No one wants to close out the year with a loss, so these teams will be delivering the pains, bruises and scuff marks that victory demands. At 4 p.m.
SUNDAY
HANUKKAH: The festival of lights comes early this year, and with it, the annual lighting—well, eight lightings, presumably—of the National Hanukkah Menorah on the Ellipse behind the White House. On the second night of the holiday, White House officials and the American Friends of Lubavitch will mark the season with the cande lighting and a performance by the United States Navy Band. Tickets are required and are available for free at NationalMenorah.org. Dreidels and latkes to follow. Gates open 3:15 p.m., sunset at 4:46 p.m.
BETRAYED DESIRES: In the event you don’t already feel betrayed by Billy Corgan, the current incarnation of Smashing Pumpkins plays the Patriot Center (4500 Patriot Drive) in Fairfax. Have your ’90s memories stomped on while Billy recalls the classics off Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, Adore, Gish and Machina. (OK, OK, everyone hates Machina.) 8 p.m. Tickets $55 (FFS, Billy.)
