Best-of lists are inevitably an exercise in subjective judgement, but most of the time it’s easy enough to define the terms by which you’ll do the judging. Not so for dive bars. There’s probably no designation that is more widely disputed among drinkers; Drink D.C. recently listed 14 possible clues and conditions for a bar to be granted the title of “dive.” And even when you agree on how to define a dive bar, there’s the issue of popularity—much like that band that you discovered but then got huge, dive bar-definers are quick to yank the title once their favorite dive becomes everyone’s favorite dive. We’re sure that our inclusion (or exclusion) of any dive bars on this list will produce howls of protest that could only be quieted with cheap beers in a dingy bar, so feel free to include your suggestions in the comments—and be prepared to defend them. Also make sure to check out WAMU’s recent list.

Photo by a namesless yeast

THE RAVEN: Though formally called The Raven Grill, don’t be fooled: this Mt. Pleasant mainstay doesn’t serve anything fancier than Utz potato chips along with its modestly priced beers and spirits. And while it recently underwent an internal upgrade of sorts—booth benches were reupholstered, for one—it has largely maintained the clientele, staff, grimy bathroom, and ethos that for so long made it the go-to dive in D.C. – Martin Austermuhle

The Raven Grill is located at 3125 Mt. Pleasant Street NW.

Also Divey, and Not Far Away: Wonderland Ballroom (1101 Kenyon Street NW), The Red Derby (3718 14th Street NW)

Photo by jason202

FOX AND HOUNDS: Dark, dank, and covered in carpeting so worn and stained that its original color remains a mystery, Fox and Hounds certainly fits with the aesthetic image of a dive. But perhaps the biggest marker of a good dive bar is its persistence in the face of time. The service is consistently slow, gruff, and inattentive. For the uninitiated, the bartender doesn’t even mix your drinks: patrons are presented with a mostly-full cup of booze and their own pony bottle of soda. You’ll spend the next hour trying to suck down bottom shelf liquor in order to make enough room to pour in your mixer. Still, the prices are low, the Dupont Circle location is convenient, and the presence of an old-school, well-curated jukebox makes up for its other quirks. Owner George Mallios replaced the machine with a TouchTunes monstrosity in 2006, but brought back the original clunker in 2009, much to our delight. – Alicia Mazzara

Fox and Hounds is located at 1537 17th Street NW.

Also Divey, and Not Far Away: Townhouse Tavern (1637 R Street NW)

RECESSIONS LOUNGE: Recessions is perhaps best known for their gargantuan “King Kong” beers, served in a setting that resembles a kitchy, low-ceilinged 1970’s era basement. Dart boards, Big Buck Hunter, and pool tables are interspersed between weirdly stone-covered, windowless walls. Happy hour specials are impossibly cheap—a 28-ounce stein of beer will set you back $4 and remind you of your misspent early 20s. The whole thing just smacks of getting drunk in your bachelor uncle’s basement. Maybe it’s the lack of windows, or maybe it’s the beers, but it’s easy to lose all sense of time at Recessions. – Alicia Mazzara

Recessions Lounge is located at 1823 L Street NW.

QUARRY HOUSE TAVERN: Tucked away from the bustling activity of downtown Silver Spring, Quarry House Tavern offers an escape from suburbia. It’s hard to imagine that a bar filled with such character is mere blocks from the commercialization of nearby “Silver Sprung”, yet Quarry House is the dive you’ve always been looking for. Of course, the first thing you have to do is find it. An inconspicuous stairwell leads you to a dank, dimly-lit basement bar. Considering Montgomery County’s draconian alcohol laws, Quarry House offers a terrific beer list complete with rotating kegs. And while you can soak those brews up with three varieties of tots—one of which includes bacon and cheese—it’s hard not to pass up their delicious burgers. At any rate, it’s good to know that there’s at least one bar in Montgomery County where one can enjoy fried pickles while listening to The Smiths. – Brett Gellman

The Quarry House Tavern is located at 8401 Georgia Avenue in Silver Spring.

Also Divey, and Not Far Away: Town Hall Tavern (8135 Baltimore Ave, College Park)

Photo by Kevin H.

THE BIG HUNT: While The Big Hunt is a typical meatmarket jerkfest on the weekends, on the weekdays it is about as dive-esque as you can get in this city. A long bar full of regulars that range from retired government workers getting their nightly fill of strong beer to off-duty bartenders from fancier establishments wanting to get pickled make up the roll call. Most of the staff are veterans who know how to pour a strong drink, don’t take shit from mouthy customers and probably won’t make you anything that ends in “tini” or is blue. That being said, the staff is also very knowledgeable and courteous if you treat them right and don’t order something “stupid.” I should also mention that while the bar carries dive staples like PBR (regardless of perceived hipness) and Bud Light, it does have one of the better beer lists in the city. And by far the best jukebox where I can annoy everyone with eight-stringed breakdowns from The Acacia Strain to ’90s thuggish hip-hop like M.O.P. – John Fleury

The Big Hunt is located at 1345 Connecticut Avenue NW.

SOLLY’S: Solly’s may be in transition with the new additional space, but the vibe is still a watering hole and that is worthy of veneration in the D.C. bar scene. Whiskey flows like water, you probably won’t find too many flavored bottles (“it’s vodka flavored vodka”) and the staff are there to pour your drinks—not offer you phony smiles. I’d much rather have that than some half-assed bartender handing me fake pleasantries. Real people serving real drinks…in a real dark bar. I’ll see you there. – John Fleury

Solly’s is located at 1942 11th Street NW.

Photo by IntangibleArts

VELVET LOUNGE: The Velvet Lounge is the ultimate dive bar in DC, as far as I’m concerned. It’s the place where good nights go to get bad, where mediocre nights go to get awful, and where bad nights go to die. It has to be the grimiest place in D.C.—and the bathrooms are pretty awful. – Pablo Maurer

The Velvet Lounge is located at 915 U Street NW.

DAN’S CAFE: Just how divey is this Adams Morgan bar? So divey that it’s one of those places that has objectively smelled worse since D.C. banned smoking in bars six years ago. Hot in the summer and cold in the winter, this anonymous looking and sparsely decorated watering hole along 18th Street NW serves up some of the strongest drinks in town: order a rum and Coke, and you’ll get an eighth of rum, a can of Coke and a bucket of ice. It’s an unpretentious place to spend a night, but be forewarned: it’s not the type of place you should go to end a night, because it’ll end badly. – Martin Austermuhle

Dan’s Cafe is located at 2315 18th Street NW.

Also Divey, and Not Far Away: Chief Ike’s Mambo Room (1725 Columbia Road NW), Pharmacy Bar (2337 18th Street NW)

Photo by 4²5²☆productions

TRUSTY’S: One thing that many people consider a defining element of a dive bar is location, in that it should be located someplace where few people other than the neighborhood regulars are expected to drink. In that, Trusty’s wins. Opened just down from the Potomac Avenue Metro station when the neighborhood was a sleepy residential redoubt—condos and Harris Teeter have since gone in across the street—Trusty’s has provided simple drinks, board games and grilled foods (you used to emerge smelling like said foods) in a two-floor bar decorated with car-themed memorabilia. – Martin Austermuhle

Trusty’s is located at 1420 Pennsylvania Avenue SE.

Also Divey, and Not Far Away: Li’l Pub (655 Pennsylvania Avenue SE), Tune Inn (331 Pennsylvania Avenue SE)

JAY’S SALOON & GRILLE: Given how Clarendon has changed over the last decade, it’s probably very fair for Jay’s Saloon to call itself “one of Arlington’s last true dive bars.” According to a Virginia local I spoke to, “That place is awesome and makes you feel like you are in some central Pennsylvania town. Totally pre-yuppy old Arlington.” Just how dive is it? The owner—Jay, natch—works there and patrons can bring along their pets. (Correction: pets are no longer allowed.) – Martin Austermuhle

Jay’s Saloon & Grille is located at 3114 N. 10th Street, Arlington

Also Divey, and Not Far Away: The Bayou Room (219 King Street, Alexandria), Rock It Grill (1319 King Street, Alexandria.