Photo via New York Post

Wait, wasn’t it just last week that Sean Hannity was calling us “Versailles” and “Boomtown”?

New York Post gossip columnist Cindy Adams doesn’t like D.C., and she doesn’t like it one bit. In a column published today, she not only mocks us as the “District of Crapola,” but compares the nation’s capital to Pakistan:

I drove to Washington. I now know what DC stands for. District of Crapola.

We’re talking a war zone. The approach to historic Washington, DC, is filth. If the area were a building, it would be condemned.

This is our capital. Home of the New World. Of the only world that really is. America. United States. Leader of the free world. Leader of any part of this world that really is.

Take Pakistan. I’ve been there. Its government city is a lavatory. Dirty, littered, a dump. But who cares — that’s Pakistan, right? Well, guess what. It’s the same in our government city.

And if only that were it. Adams, who lives in a nine-room penthouse near Central Park, was horrified by the urban wasteland that surrounds the city’s federal core, which she calls “glorious.” (Our sister site in New York keeps a running tally on her craziness.) She writes:

In DC’s outer limits, there are dregs. Broken sidewalks. In open areas around gutters, roadways, open deserted lots, it’s discarded soda cans, graffiti, syringes, rotted junk, rubber tires, strewn paper, chalk marks, cigarette butts, dog poop, empty bottles, thrown out plastic bags, open garbage, drug paraphernalia, abandoned needles, filthy rags, needles, junky clothes, broken plumbing facilities, backyards and front yards filled with detritus. Elvis alive is probably in there.

Man, she’s got us there. It was only 20 minutes ago that I let my dog crap on the sidewalk as I was dumping a week’s worth of used syringes in the neighborhood playground. And those chalk marks! They’re everywhere, a true sign of the nation’s collapse.

There’s more, though! She calls D.C. “rank,” “putrid,” “smelly,” and “vile.” She concludes: “The area’s a sewer. It lacks only a dead body decaying there.” (We’re working on that, Cindy.) If only D.C. could get its act together like New York, she adds, which has the High Line, Grand Central Station and even Central Park bums that surpass their D.C. counterparts.

The obvious question remains: how exactly does Adams get to and from New York without going through Queens, Staten Island, the Bronx, or New Jersey?