Photo by brunofish

SEXY STORIES: With Valentine’s Day only two days away, take the opportunity tonight to listen to people tell their stories about love…and a lot else. SpeakEasyDC is hosting “50 Shades of Grey: Stories about dominance, submission, pleasure, and pain” this evening at Town Danceboutique (2009 Eighth Street NW) at 8 p.m. $15.

DARWIN’S BEERS: If Charles Darwin were still alive today, he’d be over 200 years old—and looking for a place to celebrate. Pizza Paradiso is paying tribute to Darwin tonight with half-priced “beers of evolution” from 5 to 7 p.m. at all locations. Beers on tap will include Exile ESB, Lot 3 IPA, Lot #6 Double IPA, Lucky 7 Porter, Primal Pale Ale, Rise Up Stout, Sprung, and Winter Migration.

FAT TUESDAY: Celebrate Mardi Gras with Bayou Bakery (1515 N Courthouse Rd.) this evening in Arlington, where 15th Street will be closed off to traffic and free oysters will be on hand, along with specialty cocktails, food from the bakery, Abita beers, a parade float, and a costume contest. The festivities take place from 5 to 11 p.m.

STATE OF THE UNION: Just what is the state of the union? If you’d like to find out and eat and drink in the process, head to any of the the four locations of Busboys and Poets to watch President Obama speak his peace (and potentially have Ted Nugent do something nuts in the process).