GET HIM!

It’s looking like it’s all hands on deck in the search for Punxsutawney Phil, that little rat bastard of a groundhog that predicted an early spring back in February.

Late last week the Montgomery County Police put out a notice that they’re looking for Phil, accusing him of fraudulently passing himself off as a weather-forecasting groundhog. While they still have no leads, they did offer up some hints as to where they’re looking: “He may be hiding in a hole.”

If local cops do manage to snag Phil and not throttle him too hard in sheer anger over his forecasting follies, they might have to fight with other law enforcements officers over who gets to try him first: last week Phil was indicted for fraud by an Ohio prosecutor.