Sex! Bathrooms! Lyndon B. Johnson! The following WJLA story has it all.

WJLA sent its cameras to the Lyndon B. Johnson Memorial Grove, located off the George Washington Memorial Parkway near the Pentagon, to investigate sexual acts which take place in the parking lot and park restrooms—near families!

Reporter Tom Roussey wanted to find out why the U.S. Park Police aren’t arresting more fornicators. U.S. Park Police Sgt. Paul Brooks told him, “It [ed note: meaning s-e-x] goes on everywhere.”

A Google search of places Washingtonians go to have relations in public, other than presidential parks, returned a rather disturbing thread on D.C. Urban Moms and Dads. Locations where D.C. parents chose to use include the Cleveland Park Metro station elevator and the Whole Foods parking garage in Tenleytown.

Clutch your pearls and watch the report below.