Photo by Jorge Banales

BIKE RIDE: Grab your Schwinn and join up with DC Bike Party for a ten mile “Undercover” themed ride tonight. Participants are encouraged to dress up in Spy vs. Spy inspired apparel: “think black and white, sunglasses at night, and fedoras.” The route is top secret, but will end at Hawk n’ Dove. Meet at 7:30 p.m. at the Dupont Circle fountain, the ride leaves promptly at 8:00 p.m. Free.

STORYTELLING: The angst of teenage life has filled many a diary, which is then put aside to never be seen again. Until now. Tonight at Mortified DC, fearless adults will read from their “most embarrassingly real teenage diary entries, poems, love letters, lyrics and locker notes … in front of total strangers” at the Town Danceboutique (2009 8th Street NW). Come out and cringe! Doors open at 7:00 p.m., show starts at 8:00 p.m. $12 in advance, $15 at the door.

OUTDOOR MOVIES: NoMa Summer Screen (Loree Grand Field at Second and L streets NE) presents The Italian Job tonight as part of their continuing “Outlaw Heros” outdoor movie series. 7:00 p.m. Free.

>> If you prefer a more proper outdoor film, head over to Dumbarton House’s (2715 Q Street NW) Jane Austen Film Festival, which will be airing Becoming Jane this evening. Wine and champagne will be available for purchase. Preregistration for this event has closed, but a standby line will form at 7:00 p.m. and be let in at 7:30 p.m. Free.

FOOD & DRINK: Azur (405 8th St NW) is celebrating all things crustacean with their new Wednesday night Crab Fests this summer. Starting tonight, swing by the Penn Quarter restaurant for a fixed-price blue crab dinner ($65) including corn on the cob, kielbasa, potatoes, hush puppies, and plenty of melted butter and garlic aioli for your crab meat, washed down with $5 DC Brau beers. Crabs are also available a la carte starting at 5:00 p.m. until the crabs run out. (Alicia Mazzara)

VARIETY: Tonight is Church Night at The Wonderland Ballroom (1101 Kenyon Street NW). Come experience an “alternative church service” with shots and tots communion, sing-a-long hymns, Children’s Comedy Hour, Witness to Faith Dance (burlesque!), and more. Hosted by Rev. Stevedore Maybelline Bidet and Youth Leader, Kathy Piechota. 8:00-11:00 p.m. Free.