Photo by Kevin Harber

There’s been some confusion in Georgetown this week concerning one student’s nightlife activities. There’s no easy way to sufficiently rehash what happened Monday night at The Tombs in this space, other than to say it concerns a reported stabbing, a privacy-conscious waiter, and prescription medication.

Take it away, Georgetown Voice:

Yesterday morning, DPS emailed the Georgetown University community with a public safety alert, explaining how, at approximately 10:52 the night before, a student standing in front of the Tombs was stabbed twice and taken to the Georgetown Hospital. The victim told DPS that a tall, blond, white man stabbed him twice before running off into the neighborhood with the knife.

Just hours later, however, DPS sent out another emailing explaining that the supposed victim had recanted his entire story, and that “no assault occurred.”

So, what exactly happened? A waiter tells the Voice that the supposed stabbing victim reported being wounded in the knee and elbow, but the waiter found that claim not the least bit sketchy.

“Knee and elbow? Who gets stabbed there? Amateur hour,” the waiter, Joe Madsen, says. Another waiter adds that he knows the person who made the stabbing claim and that the individual was actually zonked on Xanax, the popular anxiety medication. In fact, the story from The Tombs seems to be that the student was tossed after being rowdy, and scuffed up his knee and elbow on the way down.

And when he got up, he invented a phony stabber who Georgetown University campus security the spent several hours tracking down.