Bryan Barnes, National Aquarium.

Yes, the National Aquarium is in Baltimore. Yes, this is a website that covers D.C. But do you not want to watch this video of their new baby sloth Scout? Is that what you want, you heartless monster? I didn’t think so.

Scout, a Linne’s two-toed sloth born, was born on November 17 and lives in the Upland Tropical Rain Forest exhibit. The National Aquarium is seeking donations for its baby sloth registry, which features a surrogate stuffed mother for heaven’s sake.

$25 for a week of food (biscuits, vegetables, fruit)

$50 for a identification micro-chip

$100 for monthly veterinary visit

$10 for bottles in our Emergency ‘hand rearing’ kit

$20 for powdered goat’s milk in our Emergency ‘hand rearing’ kit

$20 for a surrogate mother stuffed animal in our Emergency ‘hand rearing’ kit