A D.C.-based floral company is offering to send single people flowers from a fake Valentine, somehow making the experience of being alone on February 14th even sadder.

Bloompop, which connects local, artisan florists with people who need flowers, will send you the floral arrangement of your choosing and a hand-written, personalized card from one of three fake Valentines (The Romantic, The Secret Admirer and The Creep). The three price points for arrangements are $69, $99, and $129, because your fake Valentine is apparently a big spender. A press release claims “Your co-workers will never know the difference!” But you’ll know. You’ll know.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go call my boyfriend. He lives in Canada.