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From Poynter’s Andrew Beaujon comes this thing: The Washington Post is not planning on reporting that President of the United States Barack Obama is having an affair with President of the Universe Beyoncé.

The rumor comes from obvious Beyonce-Obama shipper, paparazzo Pascal Rostain. From Le Figaro with the help of Google Translate:

The famous paparazzi Pascal Rostain evokes a world scoop on an alleged affair between U.S. President Barack Obama and singer Beyonce to be published tomorrow in the very serious Washington Post.
…
The news immediately panicked Web and international media.

Stop panicking, Web and international media people. A spokesperson for the very serious Washington Post told Poynter this is “definitely not true.”