Via HBO.

Part of what makes Veep so great and a somewhat accurate portrayal of D.C.’s political milieu is how one powerful person’s statement can send the Hill into a frenzy. That’s what drives tonight’s episode of Veep, in which the President publicly changes his stance on abortion from pro-choice to pro-life and sends Selina and her team into panic mode as they scramble to come up with an appropriate response. Does she stand with her President but be seen as a traitor to her gender? Or does she stick to her guns but be seen as a traitor to her President?

The episode lingers on this question, causing the staff to freak out (literally, in Dan’s case) to try and have her issue a statement before likely Presidential challengers Danny Chung and Senator Maddox issue theirs. To make things worse, Kent unwittingly schedules Selina to appear on Good Morning America at 7 a.m. The clock is ticking and tempers flare in a strong follow-up to one of Veep’s best episodes to date. To the power rankings!

1. Mike

As the episode begins, Mike is still on his honeymoon (which consists of lying around watching old movies with Wendy and tallying up how many times they’ve banged), free from all the madness of the Hill. Of course, that all doesn’t last as he’s forced to come back after POTUS’s controversial statements. Still, for half an episode, Mike was on top of the world. Sorry, buddy.

2. Maddox

I’ve got to give Maddox props for being the first one to release a statement regarding the President’s remarks. Even if it’s a “non-statement,” he still got there first and thus put himself ahead of Selina and Danny Chung.

3. Danny Chung

And Danny Chung gets the coveted third spot in this week’s power rankings for being the second to issue a statement AND taking a third stand with “22 weeks.” Of course, it’s all political bullshit (“just pick a fucking number!” Dan so eloquently puts it), but he still beat Selina.

4. Selina

It wasn’t a good week for the Presidential hopeful, but it’s still early, so there’s a lot of time to recover. Still, Selina’s got to do something big to put herself in front of Maddox and Danny Chung, who got the better of her in the abortion issue at the heart of tonight’s episode.

5. Amy

Over in the Amy vs. Dan battle to become Selina’s campaign manager, Amy pulls ahead as Dan loses his lunch on a fishing boat as part of a publicity stunt for Selina, and then loses it completely over Selina struggling to pick a side. She promptly sends him home and reminds him that she “retains the power to fire the fuck out of him.” Thus, Amy pulls ahead.

6. Dan

Poor Dan. It was not a good episode for him, but he regains a little bit of power at the end when he confronts Jonah before he goes on MSNBC and scares the living shit out of him so that he promptly embarrasses himself on air. Props for the burrito bit.

7. Gary

Oh, Gary. This season finds Gary struggling to be more than Selina’s bag boy, but utterly failing at every instance. His idea that she should announce her candidacy as soon as possible is shut down by Dan (“You don’t announce your candidacy while the incumbent is still warm. That’s like trying to bang the widow at the funeral!). He embarrasses himself further while trying to help Selina visualize the matter with fruit, and then completely drops the ball while trying to get a pro-choice lobbyist to meet with Selina. Maybe next time, Gary.

8. Jonah

Jonah’s arc this season might be the best bit of character development the show has ever done. After being fired last episode because his “gossip-tainment” blog, West Wing Man, is discovered by Kent, Jonah has moved on into the world of “new media journalism,” with a shitty new website called Ryantology. As evident from his appearance on MSNBC, the whole thing looks to be on epic trainwreck. All hail Ryantology?

Via HBO.

Quotes, quips, and other observations:

• Mike: “We put a penny in the jar every time we have sex…we’ve got, like, 15 in there already!”
• Richard: “Ma’m, I’m going to follow you wherever you go. I’m going to be like a Disney animal.”
• I was disappointed by the lack of Richard in this episode. I’m really hoping they make him more of a central character and pit him against Gary.
• Dan: “The only laundering you’re going to be doing from now on is going to be prison blankets.”

  Richard: “The only crack you’re going to see is going to be in the showers!”

  Dan: “Don’t be cute”

• Mike: “Consulting on what? Trying to delete your internet search history?”
• Amy: “Fuck the swords, POTUS just announced he’s pro-life!”
• Selina: “I can’t identify myself as a woman, people can’t know that!”
• Jonah: “Old media like the Washington Toast better run to the bathroom and join the Poo York Times, because we are cutting in!”
• Ben: “I’m going home and if you need me, I don’t care.”
• The scene with Mike and Amy trying to figure out if the ACCDP is a pro-life or pro-choice organization while Selina is on the phone with them is my everything.
• Jonah: “You know what? Fuck HuffPo! They should be called PuffHo because Arianna Huffington is a straight up ho and all they do is puff pieces!”