Last night, the Nerd Prom—the White House Correspondents Dinner—took place, giving President Obama a chance to skewer the D.C. media and his colleagues on both sides of the aisle. He also took aim at himself, “I usually start these dinners with a few self-deprecating jokes, but after my stellar 2013, what could I possibly talk about? At one point, things got so bad the 47 percent called Mitt Romney to apologize.”
Obama continued, “We rolled out healthcare.gov. That could have gone better. In 2008 my slogan was ‘Yes we can.’ In 2013 my slogan was ‘Control-alt-delete.'” He joked that his team “did turn the launch of healthcare.gov into one of the year’s biggest movies,” and showed the poster for Frozen. Obama just can’t… “let it go”!
But before the Comedian-In-Chief took to the podium, a video featuring Vice President Joe Biden and VEEP Selina Meyer (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) was shown; First Lady Michelle Obama, Rep. Nancy Pelosi and House Speaker John Boehner made cameos:
Obama made fun of the cable networks. Pointing out he just came back from Malaysia, “The lengths we have to go to to get CNN coverage these days… I think they’re still searching for their table” at in the Hilton ballroom.” Then, “MSNBC’s here, they’re a little overwhelmed. They’ve never seen an audience this big before.”
“The Koch brothers bought a table here tonight, but as usual they used a shadowy right-wing organization as a front,” the President said. “Hello, Fox News!” He then grinned, “Let’s face it, Fox. You’ll miss me when I’m gone. It will be harder to convince the American people that Hillary was born in Kenya.”
The biggest laughs came when he said, “These days, House Republicans are actually giving John Boehner a harder time than they’re giving me, which means orange really is the new black.”
Obama did reference former conservative hero-until-discovered-to-be-racist Cliven Bundy, “I haven’t seen anybody pull a 180 that fast since Rand Paul dis-invited that Nevada rancher from this dinner. As a general rule, things don’t end well if your sentence starts, ‘Let me tell you something I know about the Negro.’ You don’t really need to hear the rest of it.” And towards the end of his remarks, Obama directed everyone to a video, which wasn’t playing correctly. He asked, “Does anybody know how to fix this?” and then departing Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius appeared on the dais, “I got this. I see it all the time.”
Then, E!’s The Soup host and NBC’s Community star Joel McHale took his turn—and he was merciless. One of McHale’s early jokes was, “My favorite was when you said you’d close the detention facility at Guantanamo Bay. That was hilarious.”
The actual comedian aimed at NJ Governor Chris Christie frequently, “I promise tonight will be amusing and over quickly, just like Chris Christie’s presidential bid,” and told Christie to buckle his seat belt for all the Bridgegate jokes, then amended it to “seat belt extender.”
His fellow E! networkmates weren’t spared: “I know the Kardashians are Republicans, because they’re always trying to screw black people.” McHale referenced the President’s race, too, “Mr. President — or, as Paul Ryan would call you, another inner city minority taking advantage of the federal government to feed and house your family.”
Some more of McHale’s jokes:
– “I’m a big fan of President Obama. I think he’s one of the all-time great presidents, definitely in the top 50. Please explain that to Jessica Simpson.”
– “The steaks tonight are very tasty. They’re from Cliven Bundy’s ranch. They taste amazing, once you peel off the tiny white hoods.”
– “It’s an honor to be here in Washington, D.C., the city that started the whole crack-smoking mayor craze.”
– On Hillary Clinton in 2016, “As our first female president, we could pay her 30% less. That’s savings our country could use!”
– “I host a show called The Soup which is on the E! network. To Republicans in attendance, E! is the channel that your deeply closeted gay son likes to watch. Democrats, it’s the same channel that your happy, openly gay son likes to watch.”
– “Mr. President, your critics have compared you to Hitler and Stalin, but that’s ridiculous. You look way older than them.”
– “I am a big fan of that lesbian on MSNBC, Chris Hayes.”
– “Hillary’s daughter, Chelsea, is pregnant, which means in nine months we will officially have a sequel to “Bad Grandpa.” It also raises the question: When the baby is born, do you give Bill Clinton a cigar?”
The White House Correspondents Association, which puts on the dinner, help to advocate for access to cover the President, aids the White House reporters and raises money for scholarships.
