Via Shutterstock.

Now that we boast the title of “Coolest City in America,” as determined by your dentist’s second-favorite finance magazine, the world can know of all the “cool” events happening in our city all the time. Like this “Water Battle and Tiki Bar” thing happening at Yards Park on Saturday. Yep, grown adults having a water gun fight while slurping down alcoholic beverages.

If that sounds like your kind of thing, the whole event, which is free (but 21 and up) is going down Saturday at 2 p.m. at Yards Park, and features “live DJ music, tiki bar by Bluejacket, summery frozen drinks, lawn games, pools, water slides, surfboard water game, lounge stations, misting tent, giant Instagram photo booth, and water galore.”

But the main event—a water battle of epic proportions featuring “buckets of water”—will go down at 4 p.m. No need to BYOSS (bring your own super soaker), The Yards will provide soakers and blasters. No information has been given about the nature of the battle— who knows if there are teams or if anyone wins—though, whoever wins, we all lose.