Artists rendering of what potential jogger looks like. Via Shutterstock.

The greatest threat to public safety in D.C. isn’t the possibility of citizens carrying concealed handguns, but rather a caucasian, athletic woman in her mid-30s with mid-length brown hair. At least according to one PoPville reader.

In what is perhaps peak PoPville, a reader writes in warning others of a “potentially dangerous runner” in Dupont Circle today. The harrowing ordeal, recounted here by said reader:

“Dear PoPville,

Head’s up about a potentially dangerous runner in Dupont – Today (9/21) I was walking around 17 and S St. NW at 11 AM when I was assaulted by a jogger. A woman running quickly towards looked me in the face, said “head’s up”, then purposely body slammed me in the shoulder with a lot of force. I yelled loudly but she continued and was gone before we figured out what just happened. It was clearly intentional and she really hurt my shoulder. She was about 5’4″, Caucasian, athletic, mid-30s, with mid length brown hair. The whole experience was bizarre, but clearly an unprovoked assault on a stranger that she will probably repeat.”

If you see said runner coming toward you, please, do not engage. Do not call 911, 311, or anyone. Probably best if you just email your experience to PoPville. Stay safe out there, people.