Take a walk down 14th Street on the weekend and you might forget that anybody over the age of 40 goes out to the bar anymore. And while D.C.’s bar scene does skew young, there are still places that staunchly eschew modernity. These bars remain bulwarks against the tide of exposed brick, mixologists, and Edison light bulbs. They’re the kind of bar that your mom or dad (or grandma or granddad) might still feel at home at, sipping some brown liquid in an overstuffed leather chair. Whether you’re getting older (or are just an oldie at heart), this week we’re highlighting our favorite “old person” bars in the city.
Photo by Nathan Wilkinson.
CAFE MOZART: While the millennials in D.C. may be drawn to the outdoor bars and beer gardens like moths to a Sunday-funday flame, the more seasoned of us drinkers (re: curmudgeonly) tend to still want our beers a liter at a time. But, we aren’t willing to tolerate the clamoring crowds yelling to each other about hot barre (not the delicious kind), CSAs, or bottomless mimosas. We tend to go to places where silence is not only tolerated but welcome and a quiet conversation that doesn’t involve the typical Washington banter is the norm. Stroll down the western end of New York Avenue and you could very easily walk past Cafe Mozart, a German restaurant and deli, without even realizing anything was there. But walk in and you will find a solid aisle of German and American baked goods, meats, and groceries. Meandering your way through the bastion of curry ketchups and spaetzle mixes, you will come to a seating area and bar that feels more like your uncle’s finished basement. Bright and homespun, the decor matches the service. With a few German beers on tap (usually a lighter helles, dunkel or dark lager, and hefeweizen) and decent bottles, this is the place to sit and avoid the typical D.C. bar crowds and have some true downtime. Couple that with an assortment of traditional dishes like schnitzel (love the rahm sauce) and sauerbraten and you can very well forget you’re in This Town. At least for a liter or two.—John Fleury
Cafe Mozart is located at 1331 H Street NW.
HANK DIETLE’S COLD BEER: There’s a start difference between an “old person” bar and a “dive” bar, but Hank Dietle’s Cold Beer straddles the line quite effectively. The Rockville, Md. spot might be one of the last true dives in the area, but for anyone that’s been, they know the clientele skews older. It might not be the best place to drink in peace and quiet, with no one bothering you, but it’s definitely the best place to drunkenly belt out Springsteen with a equally inebriated crowd of baby boomers. — Matt Cohen
Hank Dietle’s Cold Beer is located at 11010 Rockville Pike in Rockville, Md.
MCCLELLAN’S RETREAT: What could be more old man-ish than a bar inspired by the Civil War? Named after General George McClellan, this cozy Dupont spot takes it’s history seriously. The pressed tin ceilings and rough hewn wood paneling give it an antique feel that would make your (great, great) grandfather feel right at home. And a mix of well-crafted retro and modern cocktails—many of which have era-appropriate names like the 39th Infantry and Musket and Saber—will please both conservative and adventurous palates. —Alicia Mazzara
McClellan’s Retreat is located at 2031 Florida Avenue NW.
THE NATIONAL PRESS CLUB TRUMAN LOUNGE: The National Press Club downtown is mostly known for hosting journalists, speakers, and press conferences—the photo used in the Obama HOPE poster was shot there, for example. However, the Club’s Truman Lounge is a great old-timey watering hole: ornate chairs and dark wood bar and paneling overlooking the Willard Hotel with friendly older bartenders and a crew of grizzled, grumpy and rumpled journalists hanging out telling each other stories—if it could still be a smoke-filled room, it surely would be. It’s a members-only club, but members can bring guests; otherwise you can find events held there. It’s worth it though: journos like Helen Thomas have been known to hang out there, and you’ll probably overhear something wild about war correspondents or Watergate or some other journalistic insiderness.—Andrew Wiseman
The National Press Club Truman Lounge is at 529 14th Street NW, 13th floor.
Photo courtesy of the Hay-Adams’ Facebook page.
OFF THE RECORD: Off the Record is one of D.C.’s classic hotel bars. Located inside the Hay-Adams and only accessible through a poorly marked side entrance, this place is like slipping back in time. Inside, it’s all nooks, crannies, dark wood, and red tufted cushions—this place screamed speakeasy before speakeasies became cool again. As far as old men, this place is full of them: the bar is frequently cited as a “power spot” popular among journalists, politicos, and White House staffers. In keeping with the theme, the drink menu trends heavily towards aged whiskey and classic cocktails, which start at $16. What can we say, watching old dudes in suits doesn’t come cheap. —Alicia Mazzara
Off the Record is located at 800 16th Street NW.
ROUND ROBIN BAR: The Round Robin is where you’ll find grandpa hiding out when the whole family stays at the Willard Hotel for the holidays. The round bar that comfortably seats at most ten people has been the hangout for grizzled boozers since Lincoln’s days in the White House. Located just off the lobby, the circular room is cozy and removed from the bustle on Pennsylvania Avenue. While it’s been remodeled and reopened several times, The Round Robin maintains the time-worn look of yesteryear with leather-clad booths and busy wallpaper behind framed sketches of presidents and statesmen. The Scotch Room, up a short flight of stairs, is a museum-like space with white marble from floor to ceiling. While it may not be the most extensive scotch menu in the city, the scotch room boasts some rare ages of single malts within the collection. A knowledgeable bar staff is ready to match your preferences with a scotch you’ve never tried before. —Nathan Wilkinson
The Round Robin is located at 1401 Pennsylvania Avenue NW.
Photo by Clif Burns.
THE SALOON: The glasses still have the logo from its Georgetown location, because why get rid of perfectly good beer delivery device? The sign out front tells potential customers that there is no standing, TV, or music to be had. Comy, the proprietor who is often behind the bar, has a Soup Nazi quality about him. Then you see the photos of the almost two dozen schools he’s built in developing countries during the bar’s annual August hiatus, and you know that there’s a heart of gold somewhere in there. Names of patrons who fork over the requisite amount cover the brick walls, and the money finances the aforementioned schools. These are just a few of the reasons I’m a regular at The Saloon. The bar serves tasty German-style brews, simple and delicious food, with no side of pretense whatsoever. As U Street’s rapid gentrification comes with a concomitant douche factor, this is one of the few joints on the strip for which this curmudgeonly jazz writer will brave the crowd on a Friday or Saturday night. The Saloon is for enjoying company and conversation over hearty food and drink, and nothing more. That’s why I love it. —Sriram Gopal
The Saloon is located at 1205 U Street NW.
SHELLY’S BACK ROOM: As old-timey as a good fist shake, cigars and whiskey are old man staples. While the big-wigs of Washington go to their private clubs and commence the back room deals we know are happening (or do we? Yeah, we do), there are few places in the city that afford us plebs the luxury of old bottles and fine shade tobacco indoors. The appropriately named Shelly’s Back Room provides all the smoke, rich leather, and drams of your favorite libation without the pretentiousness of the finer establishments in town. With an ample list of scotches, blended whiskeys, and bourbons, one can sit in the comforts of over-stuffed chairs and couches and ponder the years gone by. A large selection of cigars allows for spirits and cigar pairings in an environment that would seem to lend itself to a dank, congested room but great ventilation and plenty of space actually give the smoking area and bar a quite breathable experience. For those who want to spend a considerable amount of time there, personal humidors are available to rent. So grab your favorite Arturo, Ashton, or Cohiba and two fingers of the brown stuff and get to gettin’ old. —John Fleury
Shelly’s Back Room is located at 1331 F Street NW.
TABARD INN: Walk into the main lounge room at the Tabard Inn and find yourself ensconced within its dimly lit, wood-paneled walls. Admire the oil paintings hung throughout, take in the majestic fireplace and settle into one of the room’s upholstered couches. Order a glass of scotch or whiskey. If you’re here on a Sunday, Monday, or Tuesday evening, enjoy the sounds of the jazz musicians playing in the far corner. Relax, pull out a leather-bound book, and you can almost just smell the rich mahogany this place exudes. —Elizabeth Packer
Tabard Inn is located at 1739 N Street NW.
