Update: Looks like we’ve cracked the case of the missing playground firetruck and, just as we suspected, it was an inside job.

The Department of General Services removed the truck from Walter Pierce Park after receiving reports about a broken plank that was leading to children being injured.

“It was determined that the fire truck could not be repaired. In effort to error on the side of safety, the fire truck was disposed of by DGS to ensure there would be no further injury to children,” DGS said in a statement provided to DCist.

The department apologized for its lack of communication about Freddie’s whereabouts. “The decision to remove and dispose of the fire truck to protect children should have been communicated to community members who purchased the apparatus and to the Department of Parks and Recreation”

It said that it will replace Freddie with a new truck in the coming six to eight weeks.

Original: Where is #FreddieDaFireTruck? It’s a question Washingtonians have been asking ever since the big red and blue piece of playground equipment went missing from an Adams Morgan park late last week.

Borderstan first captivated us with the urban mystery. At the outset, it seemed like it could have been a misunderstanding between government agencies removing Freddie from Walter Pierce Park for some repairs or sprucing up. But the departments of Parks and Rec and General Services deny playing a part in it.

D.C. Police confirmed to The Washington Post this morning that there’s now an investigation open. “It appears no government agency removed it for any type of safety precautions or to upgrade the equipment,” chief spokesperson Dustin Sternbeck said. “It appears to be an investigation of stolen property.”

So where oh where could Freddie be? Well, we’ve got some ideas …

  • Baby Safari: You may have seen a green Chevy Astro with its roof sawed off cruising around town. Washingtonian profiled the so-called “Babe Safari,” which has already clocked 2,500 miles in the D.C. area and is bringing joy and befuddlement to those who gaze upon it. All it takes is a humble saw to turn Freddie into a Baby Safari.
  • Vape and Ride: What if Freddie has been right under our nose, but we haven’t noticed because he’s traded his red-and-blue paint job for cannabis bud-filled plastic wrap? As the newest member of the Kush Gods fleet, Freddie could help with the new vape and ride service, though perhaps the wooden firetruck isn’t enough of a luxury vehicle to join up.
  • Inside Job: People are saying that not everything is as it appears with this case. And we’ve got to ask ourselves—who benefits from a missing Freddie? Cui bono, if you will. I don’t have an answer to that (though Big Playground has been a scourge on our democracy since the days of Teddie Roosevelt), but if you look very closely at the one-dollar bill and squint a little bit, you will see our pal Freddie right by the pyramid. I’m not saying there’s a connection, but it makes you think.
Filed Under: Adams Morgan, freddie da fire truck, playground,