Photo by r. nial bradshaw.

Are the young employees of the Trump administration getting laid, or what?

Politico Magazine is the latest media outlet looking to tackle this vexing question, even though the answer appears to remain, “not successfully.”

But in interviewing 30-some odd staffers, both current and former, Politico found some fascinating anthropological anecdotes.

For one, the story claims that Trump’s millennial employees largely live along the banks of the Anacostia from The Wharf to the Waterfront to Navy Yard. “Here, young Trump staffers mix largely with each other and enjoy the view from their rooftop pools, where they can feel far away from the District’s locals and the rest of its political class,” report Daniel Lippman and Ben Schreckinger.

The article posits that young employees of any presidential administration pick a hot spot: the Clinton administration had Adams Morgan, George W. Bush folks hung out in Georgetown and Glover Park, and junior Obama workers lived in the rapidly developing areas of Shaw, U Street, and Columbia Heights.

But Trump staffers prefer different neighborhoods on the Green Line. Here’s how Politico describes it:

Unlike most of the rest of D.C., where gentrifying newcomers find themselves rubbing shoulders with lifelong Washingtonians, this Wharf-to-Navy-Yard stretch is mostly devoid of true locals—meaning young staffers living there are less likely to be bothered by unwelcoming neighbors. Instead, you’ll find yuppies, tourists and affluent empty-nesters visiting from the suburbs. Stocked with brand-new boutiques and restaurants, as well as chains like Ben & Jerry’s, the area imports the feel of a high-end northern Virginia shopping plaza to D.C. Snobbier millennials might call it “basic.” In other words, it’s right in the comfort zone for staffers who are unabashedly Republican but also carry chips on their shoulders about the elite insiders they beat out in 2016.

While the newly constructed luxury apartments might do for the anonymous employees, former White House Communications Director Hope Hicks and current Senior White House Advisor Stephen Miller, two of the most recognizable millennials under Trump, dug in at CityCenter.

When it comes to eating, Politico describes their tastes as “upscale, conventional and close to work.”

The bar and steakhouse at the Trump International Hotel, of course, offer the most obvious safe space. Perhaps even more so than their predecessors, Trump’s young staffers also rely on old standbys near the White House: POV, the rooftop bar at the W Hotel that overlooks the White House; Old Ebbitt Grill, a quintessential antebellum Washington establishment; and Joe’s, a seafood and steak spot, are favorites. So are the nearby restaurant-bar The Hamilton and Blackfinn, a gastropub off Farragut Square. Some staffers prefer the Exchange Saloon, a no-frills sports bar just west of the White House. One young former Health and Human Services official confides that Rebellion, a Southern-themed establishment farther north, near U Street, is “one of the few closet Trump bars” in town.

Don’t forget the Presidential Personnel Offices in the Eisenhower Executive Building, where staffers swing by to vape, per The Washington Post.

Read the Politico story for all of the details about why everyone is swiping left on them on Tinder, but there’s one big takeaway. These staffers may gripe about the inconveniences of dating in this vastly liberal city or of being jeered when leaving work, but they still have one key thing: power.

Update: The Capitol Riverfront Business Improvement District responded to the Politico story in an email to DCist. Here’s BID President Michael Stevens:

[The article] speaks of someone who did not take the time to visit the Capitol Riverfront neighborhood, or the Southwest Waterfront for that matter … If the Politico writers had only visited the water features they would have seen children from a variety of backgrounds playing in water features while parents converse on the lawns or in nearby seating areas … I think Capitol Riverfront and Southwest Waterfront are two neighborhoods where diversity is welcomed in all form—race, age, economics, gender, and lifestyle … It is indeed unfortunate that an article would try and paint such a grossly simplified and false caricature of two neighborhoods that are growing and accommodating new residents while constantly working to preserve affordable housing and diversity. Urban revitalization and community building are complicated processes that take years to accomplish with partnerships between the local government and private developers.