Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
D.C. has a love-hate relationship with Metro. It can get you a lot of places, but also breaks down a lot. They’re working to improve it, but sometimes that means it gets worse before it (hopefully) gets better. And of course, it’s Halloween…
Overheard of the Week:
In Adams Morgan on Halloween:
A woman is standing with a hand-drawn Metro map attached to her shirt.
Man: “What are you, Metro?”
Woman: “Aren’t I scary enough for you?”
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Picking your battles
On 14th Street NW
One early-20s woman to another: “Why is that J. Crew for men only? I mean, I wouldn’t shop there anyway even if it was for women too, but I hate it that it’s only for men.”
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Same with Target
Two Howard students are chatting in a Lyft Line
Student: “We went to Walmart to make Jello shots and came back with avocados and limes and like… agave.”
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Why not get a connecting flight between the two?
In line at the P Street Whole Foods
A 30-something young professional woman on her cell phone: “The definite downside of booking two one-way flights is that I flew out of Dulles and back into DCA … and then forgot I drove and now my car has been in long-term parking all week at Dulles and I really don’t have any idea when I’m going to go get it.”
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So close to death
Two young people, on a northbound S1 Bus, 6 p.m.
Young woman: “My sister just turned 25 … That’s, like, the oldest I can imagine being. That’s so old.”
Young Man: (no response)
Young woman: “When I turned 22 I literally cried.”
Young man: “I have a cousin who is 25.”
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War on cars!
In Dupont
Guy riding his bike past a line of cars in traffic: “Look at all these fat assholes!”
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Yes, that’s the military phonetic alphabet
On 18th Street near Dupont
Hipster bearded fellow on the phone with some customer service number: “Yes S!!! S as in Sally the Snail!!”
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What are we teaching our children?
In the supermarket checkout line
A kid, maybe 10 years old, to his hipster dad: “Daddy, I’ve heard a lot of A Perfect Circle, but I haven’t really heard any Tool. Are they good?”
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A tale of legumes
Walking up Connecticut Ave NW
A woman zips by going in the opposite direction speaking on the phone via earbuds: “… I think that goes perfectly with your chickpea story!”
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Oh lord
At an office building in Foggy Bottom, a woman who appears to be a guest for a meeting steps out to get some water. She finds the break room and must have not recognized the fancy water dispenser.
Visitor: “Where can I get some cold water on this floor?”
Woman who works there: “We have this water dispenser; this button is for still water and this button will give you some carbonation.”
Visitor: “Oh, that’s OK, I don’t like carbs”
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As always, we rely on you to overheard the good stuff and send it our way. Make sure to tell us who was speaking to whom and in what context.
