Let’s get it out of the way early: No one does any actual hovering at HoverDC, the sort-of virtual reality experience at the top of the CEB Tower in Rosslyn. Participants in fact remain quite still while standing on a screen that simulates flight over D.C.-area landscapes. It’s like flying, except … nothing like flying at all.

When an invitation to try out Hover, and to visit the building’s new-ish observation deck where it’s situated, arrived in my inbox, reaction at DCist ranged from “I don’t get it” to “Wait, explain it to me again, maybe then I’ll get it.” We knew we needed to see it for ourselves.

After tumbling out of a Lyft clown-car style, submitting to a surprisingly high level of security, and riding to the tippy-top of the mixed-use building, we found that HoverDC (dubbed an “aerial adventure” in the invitation) is only a part of the experience. We should hope so: To get up there on a normal day, not a media event like one we were attending, costs twenty two dollars if you pay in person (buy online to save a precious dollar). You also get views all around the donut-shaped space that stretch to the District on one side and National Airport on the other—at least according to maps on the windowsills that point out landmarks.

You’ll also find a curious hodgepodge of historical lessons: There’s a holographic video loop that shows figures including Susan B. Anthony, Ida B. Wells, and Frederick Douglass delivering monologues about their work, and a series of interactive video screens displaying timelines of the lives of people who had an impact in the area. Among the folks whose Jeopardy! categories we could ace after this was all over are AOL co-founder Steve Case, musical theater star Elizabeth Schuyler Hamilton, and Mary Custis Lee (wife of Robert E.! Yikes!).

The newest part is The View, a champagne bar situated up a flight of stairs and attached to a small outdoor deck. There’s a small menu of champagne by the glass or bottle to accompany your skyline gazing, and a larger menu of sandwiches, flatbreads, beer, and wine at the cafe on the main level.

Now that we’ve returned to Earth, here are our observations:

Natalie:

• When I was in high school, I went on a cruise to Mexico with my family. The ship tried very hard to manufacture a feeling of glamour and exclusivity and luxury that somehow never succeeded in hiding all the effort going into that illusion. I got serious Royal Caribbean vibes from the Observation Deck’s champagne bar: weird blueish lighting, a teeny bar with a limited menu, and a cramped room full of elegantly-dressed people looking unsure about where to stand. And it wasn’t just the bar that seemed weird. There was a medley of attractions (views, holographic historical biographies) available that together all just felt kind of confusing: I didn’t know what to look at, how to feel, or even how I was supposed to be dressed.
• All of that said, they gave us a glass of free champagne, so I mostly embraced the confusing jumble and had a pretty good time (this is also how I recommend getting through cruises). If you play your cards right, the mix of incredible nighttime views, historical and educational content fit for a daytime tourist attraction, and manufactured clubby vibes can feel kind of novel and fun, much like ice skating on a giant seafaring vessel in the middle of a dark ocean.
• It does cost $22, though.
• Here’s what I will say: The views from the main level are good. It’s 31 stories high, and the windows are floor-to-ceiling (though there are large silver partitions all over the glass that really interfere with the view, honestly). If you like being really high up, it’s pretty cool.
• Also, the outdoor patio is really good. You get the best views out there, and they have comfy-looking patio furniture.
• We also did this thing called HoverDC, where you stand on top of a screen and get “flown” over a bunch of views of the city. This is…fine? We didn’t “fly” over the Capitol or most of the monuments, which I was hoping to see.  For some reason one of the major landmarks we flew over was the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception, which frankly does not seem like the kind of thing tourists are dying to experience. Kids would probably like this part.
• There is a Target directly in view on one side of the building and I thought more than once about how I might be having more fun over there.

Lori:

• It’s surprisingly difficult to take photos of the twinkling skyline with panes of super-thick glass in the windows. No matter how close you get to the window, you’re doomed to capture some of your own reflection in the photo. I didn’t come all the way to Rosslyn to take a selfie!
• The observation deck is spacious, but that’s actually a negative: Wandering in circles around the floor feels kind of like strolling in a giant hallway. A giant, $22 hallway.
• This bar is tiny. I’ll echo Natalie’s seafaring comparison: It feels like everything’s miniaturized, like we’re at a party on a yacht. Only one bartender fits behind the U-shaped bar, and there’s lots of “oop, scuse me, pardon me, can I just squeeze past here thanks.”
• Standing on this industrial rooftop with a glass of champagne in hand, overlooking the city below, I feel like I should be saying something like “Well, congratulations on a merger well done, Johnson, bully for you.” I have never wanted to feel this way.
• Then there was HoverDC. We were guided up on a platform the size of a ping pong table and given enormous headphones, through which a “helicopter pilot” describes the scenes we’re “flying over.” Fans blew in our faces to simulate wind, but it just ended up feeling like … there were fans blowing in our faces. It ends up being fun only in the way that watching a movie and seeing an actor you recognize from a TV show you watch is fun. “Oh look, it’s Nationals Park, I know that guy!”
• We pass a case of souvenirs, in case anyone wants to buy a t-shirt, shot glass, umbrella, or Christmas ornament that screams “The View” or “HoverDC.”

Rachel S.: 

• Although it didn’t cost us anything to get in (thanks media preview), I couldn’t stop dwelling on how much this would cost a family of several people. Even for just a couple, it would run two people $44 plus tax. Almost 50 bucks!!!! For photos!!!! There are so many other ways to get decent view: the Old Post Office Tower, the Washington Monument (er, when the elevators are working), the Watergate Hotel’s rooftop bar, the POV lounge at the W. Me? I’d go to the parking lot of Cardozo High School, which has a sweeping view of downtown D.C. from the heights of Columbia Heights.
• Ostensibly we were here to check out the new bar, which felt like it belonged at a Radisson. Mostly, though, I couldn’t get over the fact that they named it The View. Someone told them about the TV show, right?
• Everything about this place felt like a random assemblage, but perhaps nothing more so than the imaginary helicopter ride. I could get past the weirdness of standing on top of a giant tv screen with fans blowing air at us, even the hokeyness of the whole endeavor, if there was … I don’t know … a story to follow? Instead we got a birds-eye-view of some of the most random parts of the region, in no particular order, for no particular reason. And we didn’t even fly in between them, just skipping from Great Falls to the National Basilica with a fade out of the screen.
• There was also a 3D holographic display of Frederick Douglass and Ida B. Wells giving a monologue. Like basically everything else about this place, it was cool for about 32 seconds before dissolving into the question of “huh, why is this here?” I later consulted the website to find out. Make of this answer what you will: “When it comes to historical events, we all have our own opinions and perspectives. So it’s important to walk in other people’s shoes to get a glimpse of their unique point of view. Our state-of-the-art, multisided holographic display allows you to step into a set of footprints and watch as historical figures come to life to tell their personal stories.”
• I suppose this is the part where I try to find something redeeming. The views are neat for a few minutes. The space has a cool vibe to it, with molded wood benches and modern architecture. But for the life of me, I can’t imagine a time when I would go.

Rachel K.:

• I am often paralyzed by choice, so entering an elevator with only two options was a thrill: It’s the lobby or the 31^st floor, baby, and nothing in between. This was my highlight.
• The actual HoverDC ride was like a virtual reality machine, minus the seats and the movement. I suppose it kind of felt like I was hovering above the Georgetown football field, but why would I ever want to hover above the Georgetown football field? Still, I could imagine eight-year-old Rachel getting a kick out of it. She was easily excitable.
• Aside from the elevator (which, by the way, would have been a VERY fun ride—I’m thinking Tower of Terror, Rosslyn-style), my favorite part was the outdoor deck. The traffic looks so quaint from 31 stories up! Everything does, really. On a warmer day, it might be nice to lounge on some of the outdoor furniture and take in the view. On a cold night, with most of the land swathed in darkness, I didn’t feel the need to linger for too long.
• I Instagram-storied my way through this situation (the elevator! The view! Etc. etc.) and was struck by the enthusiasm of responses in my inbox—definitely higher than average. But that zeal outweighed the pleasure I felt in the moment. My takeaway is that this is the kind of experience better suited to social media than to actually savoring in the moment.