The Chicago-famed liquor Jeppson’s Malört has such a … unique taste that there’s a special phrase for a person’s countenance after taking a shot: “Malört face.” Ivy and Coney has an entire wall filled with photos of patrons’ Malört faces. But the Shaw bar hasn’t been able to add to it since mid-December.
That’s because D.C. is in the midst of a Malört shortage, precipitated by the acquisition of the liquor by Chicago’s CH Distillery.
“There’s no Malört anywhere in town,” says Ivy and Coney co-founder Josh Salzman. “It’s super sad. I never thought I’d say that about Malört, but it’s a bummer. People are asking for it every night and we just have to tell them, ‘We’re in a holding pattern.'”
Ivy and Coney was the first D.C. bar to offer the bitter wormwood-based liquor when it opened more than four years ago—Saltzman says he had to beg the octogenarian then-owner of the company to distribute here. “Even in Chicago, where I’m from, a Malört bottle was like that dusty bottle that hadn’t been touched in 20 years,” says Saltzman. “We just thought it’d be funny to bring it in and people have turned it into a whole challenge thing.” Other bars have since followed suit.
That’s because Malört is a singular experience for the palate, even if people describe it differently.
“My own personal way is it tastes like turpentine-soaked grass with a little stomach bile for flavor,” says Saltzman. “I’ve also heard it referred to as licking a chain smoker’s ash tray, biting into a fermented grapefruit rind, or just gasoline. It’s something that kind of grows on you … like a fungus.”
According to Saltzman, Ivy and Coney sells anywhere from a half case to a full case’s worth of Malört—meaning 12 bottles—weekly. “You can easily kill an entire bottle on a Saturday night and be reaching for a second or third.” While most people knock back the $7 shots as a lark, Saltzman says there are some regulars who actually drink it: “One girl is very proud that she drinks it on the rocks willingly.”
While that woman is out of luck for now, CH Distillery says a respite is coming.
Tremaine Atkinson, the founder and head distiller at CH Distillery, says that the company has to reapply for its licenses to be able to distribute in the D.C.-area.
“We are horribly upset about [the shortage] because we want everyone to have the great and wonderful experience of drinking Malört at all times,” Atkinson says. “I would say within 4-6 weeks there will be Malört in bars and lots of Malört faces to go with it.”
Saltzman is looking forward to the drink’s return: “There’s no finer joy behind the bar at Ivy and Coney than seeing a Malört face.”
Rachel Kurzius