The docket this week includes art, love stories, and a Beyoncé impersonator.
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 4
GO LOVE YOURSELF: Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, gird your loins with a self-love class taught by a sex and relationship coach and learn empowerment techniques over wine and treats. You’ll walk away with a self-love journal and a “map for passionate romance that will blow your mind,” because if you could GPS your way to mind-blowing romance, Tinder wouldn’t be free. (The Lemon Collective, 7-8:30 p.m., $35)
TOSS CRUMBS TO IVANKA: Conceptual artist Jennifer Rubell presents “Ivanka Vacuuming,” a performance piece that seeks to both celebrate and question the “comically wide range of feminine identities” Ivanka Trump presents. Visitors will be able to toss crumbs (provided) onto a pink carpet and watch as an ever-smiling Ivanka lookalike “elegantly vacuums” them up. Some cities have just one hot duck. D.C. has many attractive waterfowl and this. (Flashpoint Gallery, 6-8 p.m. through February 17, FREE)
NAKED AND UNAFRAID: International Arts & Artists at Hillyer’s weekly nude sketching class is back from hiatus, so sharpen your Crayolas, because all skill levels are welcome and you can choose your medium. Easels, chairs, and artistic ambiance will be provided. Only the model may be nude. Don’t make it weird. (IA&A at Hillyer, 6-9 p.m., $15)
NO PHONIES ALLOWED: If you’re an adult who still identifies with Holden Caulfield, seek professional help, then attend this lecture about the life of J.D. Salinger. Author Daniel Stashower will lead a conversation on Salinger’s life and self-imposed isolation, and local actor Scott Sedar read some of his most celebrated writing. Cost of admission includes a subsequent reception, which will hopefully be more Franny and Zooey than Catcher in the Rye. (S. Dillon Ripley Center, 6:45 p.m., $45-$60)
More: Chess On Tap (The Board Room, 6:30 p.m., FREE), Music Trivia (Songbyrd, 7-9 p.m., FREE), Mystic Tea Party & Group Healing (Interior Castle Wellness, 7-9 p.m., FREE), Miki Howard (City Winery, 8 p.m., $35-$45), Open Mic Night (Busboys and Poets-Brookland, 9 p.m., $5)
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 5
FREE SPACE FOR A SAFE SPACE: Play bingo with drag queens for a cause. A dollar from every purchase of the “Safe Schools Mule” as well as all donations to enter raffles will go straight to the national organization dedicated to championing LGBTQ issuses in schools. Bingo may be a game of luck, but GLSEN won’t leave LGBTQ youth’s safety to chance. (Nellie’s Sports Bar, 6:30-9, FREE, donations encouraged)
CHIC HORROR: Murder, a love triangle, a rural French all-boys boarding school . . . what more could one film have. Diabolique tells the story of two unlikely allies who band together for justice; like a buddy comedy, but with murder and gripping suspense instead of buddies or comedy. (Embassy of France, 7-9 p.m., FREE with registration)
NOT-SO-INSTANT POT: Fly in the face of instant gratification by learning how to make an overnight slow-cooked traditional Jewish stew. Why wake up to a loving partner when you could wake up to a stew! Ticket price includes a buffet dinner. (Sixth & I, 6 p.m., $40-$45)
CURLING: Missing the Winter Olympics? Here’s your chance to get on the ice and show off your intimate knowledge of curling, which is A LOT HARDER than it looks. The Fray is running a weekly tournament; tickets include at least three round robin games. (The Wharf, 7:30 p.m., $45)
More: Comedy Open Mic (DC Improv, 7:30 p.m. FREE with two-item minimum), DC Statehood Advocacy Training (Northeast Neighborhood Library, 6:30-8 p.m., FREE), Alvin Ailey American Dance Theatre (The Kennedy Center, 7 p.m., through February 10, $59-$140)
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 6
KNOW YOUR ANGLES: Are you a plebian without a professional glam squad? Learn to do your best with what you’ve got—your makeup bag and a phone camera—at this class about serving face and finding your best angles for photos. Ticket price includes wine and snacks. (Own Your Wonder, 6:30-8 p.m., $20)
IF YOU MISSED ON THE RUN II: Come see D.C.’s own Beyoncé illusionist extraordinaire Riley Knoxx. One time I auditioned to be her backup dancer and was so awestruck by her talent and beauty that I wasn’t even offended when I got cut. Be wowed without having your dreams crushed at the City Winery stage as Riley takes you through Beyoncé’s greatest hits, complete with perfectly replicated costumes and choreography. (City Winery, 8 p.m., $22-$35)
LOVE AND CHEESE: Via Umbria’s popular monthly Cheese of the Month Club party is getting amorous with their favorite romantic cheeses in anticipation of Valentine’s Day. What exactly makes a cheese romantic? Ask the onsite cheesemonger and learn how to make cheese-based dishes sure to ensnare the heart of your favorite dairy lover. Ticket price includes a glass of prosecco, featured cheeses with wine or beer pairing tastes, and 10 percent off any cheese or wine purchase. (Via Umbria, 7-9 p.m., $25)
POETRY IN MOTION: In celebration of Black History Month, the 450K location of Busboys and Poets’ weekly open mic will feature Enoch the Poet, a celebrated young poet from Wilmington, Delaware whose work addresses black mental health in America. Finding an open mic that guarantees talent is a rare and beautiful thing. (Busboys and Poets 450K, 9 p.m., $5)
More: Stouts & Snouts Pig Roast (Dacha Beer Garden, 4-10:30 p.m., $7-$22), Coming to America Screening (Angelika Pop-Up Union Market, 7 p.m., $10.50), the lowercase Writing Open Mic (Petworth Citizen’s Reading Room, 7-9 p.m., FREE), Chaturanga for Charity (Flow Yoga Center at P Street, 7-8 p.m., pay what you can), The Unsinkable Molly Brown Screening (Landmark West End, 1:30, 4:30, & 7:30 p.m., $10-$12.50)
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 7
THIRSTY FOR ART: If nude sketching in a Dupont gallery sounds too tame, Sip N Drip, the exotic painting experience, is for you. Not one but TWO fully nude male life models will be available for your artistic expression. Don’t forget tips for the models and to BYOB for yourself. Ticket price includes a canvas, painting supplies, and a free shot. (The Fridge Art Gallery, 9-10:30 p.m., $30)
LOVE HURTS: This DC Moth Storyslam will be all about bad romance, and not the fun Lady Gaga kind. Bring your five-minute story of love-related pain and revel in the cathartic realization that no one is immune to heartbreak. (Miracle Theatre, 7:30 p.m., $15)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JONI MITCHELL: The artist who taught your cold, English wife how to feel is turning 75. If you’re still haunted by that scene in Love Actually where Emma Thompson elegantly weeps to Both Sides Now because Alan Rickman (may he rest in peace) was a dog, you’ll enjoy the release of Joni 75: A Birthday Celebration. A group of peers came together to pay musical tribute to her expansive and iconic catalog; cut with behind the scenes interviews with luminaries like Rufus Wainwright, Norah Jones, and Emmylou Harris, this homage will be in theatres for one night only. (Landmark E Street, 7 and 9 p.m., $15)
OPEN OPENING: GW’s Corcoran School of Arts and Design (arguably the most inaccessible yet delightful hidden-in-plain-sight art space in D.C.) is hosting an opening reception for OPEN, an installation of lights and projections by artist Robin Bell. A “celebration of transparency, belonging, and accessibility,” OPEN asks viewers to do the work of being open, to reach beyond preconceived notions and to rethink what they see. (Flagg Building, 6-8 p.m., FREE with registration)
More: Love, Desire, and Relationships Meditation Class (Kadampa Meditation Center DC, 7:15-8:30, $6-$12), Drag Queen Story Hour (The Line Hotel, 10:30-11:30 a.m.), Trivia Night (Rock and Roll Hotel, 6 p.m., FREE), Introduction to Drawing and Sketching Workshop (The Lemon Collective, 7-8 p.m., $40), Dumplings and Wine Pairings (Petworth Citizen & Reading Room, 7-9 p.m., $45)
