The latest salvo in national publications’ ongoing war against the real D.C. comes courtesy of Esquire, which published a meandering feature story on Thursday with the red-hot thesis that most people in Washington don’t like the Trump administration and prefer not to socialize with its staffers.

It’s a mishmash of worn-out tropes that rests on the almost comically ridiculous claim that “Washington is one of the only places in America where an election transforms the city’s social life.” In the end it adds up to little more than a glorified review of some of the city’s most boring restaurants interspersed with quotes from Sally Quinn.

Honestly that’s about as much attention as I’d wish to devote to blather that flattens a vibrant city into the habits of a powerful few, if not for the curious mention of an alleged neighborhood called Woodland Normanstone. Ryan Lizza reports:

“The most well-heeled [Trump officials] retreat to safe havens in mansions in Northwest D. C.’s adjoining Kalorama and Woodland Normanstone neighborhoods, which together are the new Georgetown. “It’s a more palatial atmosphere in Kalorama compared to Georgetown,” said Quinn. “Bigger, newer houses. I have not heard of any of the Trump people living in Georgetown.”

…

The mix of controversial Trump officials, high-profile Secret Service protectees, and the superrich has given sleepy Kalorama and Woodland Normanstone—which are dotted with embassies and ambassadorial homes and, on the quieter edge of the area, nestled in Rock Creek Park—an occasionally riotous side.

I’ve lived in the District my entire adult life and covered the city for five years. But if you’d asked me yesterday if Woodland Normanstone was a real place, I would have speculated that you’d pulled it out of Alice in Wonderland. More than one native Washingtonian told me that they’d never heard of it either.

According to this extremely scientific Twitter poll, though, it’s not totally unheard of, even if a bunch of you said things like “only because I live in the same ANC, but I still couldn’t tell you where it actually is” and “only because of that DC neighborhood map art print.”

https://twitter.com/Rachel_Sadon/status/1093901186376364032

The internet confirmed its existence, which essentially amounts to the august blocks encircling the Naval Observatory.

The Washington Post’s real estate section explained in a 2013 story that the hilly neighborhood doesn’t conform to the regular city street grid thanks to an exemption from Congress. It has a grand total of 160 house, 15 percent of which are embassies and at least three of which are owned by Trump administration staffers (Kellyanne Conway, Wilbur Ross, and Steve Mnuchin).

Zillow tells me that there are currently five houses for sale within those blocks (the cheapest is asking $3.75 million).

So I suppose I did learn something from a story headlined “A Swamp Divided: How Trump’s Arrival Turned D.C. Nightlife Upside Down,” after all.