Get dressed up and watch the Met Gala, crack some crabs, see Ginuwine at a winery, and butcher a whole duck, all before Friday. Have fun, be safe, and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.

MONDAY, MAY 6

I SPY: Do you desire a more authentic spy experience than the International Spy Museum (set to reopen in a new space this weekend, coincidentally) has to offer? Go on this walking tour of Embassy Row with a former special agent. Explore the significant espionage cases throughout American history that have unfolded behind the doors of world embassies. BYO alias. (Bryce Park, 6 p.m.-8 p.m., $8)

PIECE IT TOGETHER: Use bits of colored glass, small stones, and your shattered hopes and dreams to create a mosaic masterpiece. Mizz Mosaic will lead you in mosaic making on the surface of your choice, including coasters, picture frames, flower pots, and mundane reality. (Shop Made In DC, 6 p.m.-8 p.m., $50)

IT’S CALLED FASHUN: Fashion Group International of Greater Washington, DC hosts a Met Gala viewing party complete with apres-red-carpet panel discussions with local celebrity stylists, signature cocktails, a buffet, a photo booth, and a competition for best dressed. This year’s theme is “Camp: Notes on Fashion,” and that doesn’t mean REI gear, sweetie. (Saint Yves, 6 p.m.-9 p.m., $35)

TERROIR FIRMA: Apparently there’s more to intro-ing wine than a corkscrew. Learn the foundations of wine at this one-hour class that will teach you about the vine’s life cycle, the concept of terroir, the importance of wine law—don’t bring Two Buck Chuck to a party, if there’s less than a glass left in the bottle, drink it—the dominant grape varieties, the wine making process, and the key styles of wine. This class includes four wine tastings and the confidence to pronounce “terroir.” (Cork and Fork, 6:30 p.m.-7:30, $50)

MORE: Profs & Pints: Enclave of Black Hope (The Bier Baron Tavern, 6 p.m., $12), Gardening in the City – Vegetable Gardening in Small Spaces (District Hardware and Bike, 6 p.m.-7 p.m., $5) The Dandy Warhols Anniversary Show (9:30 Club, 7 p.m., $30), Hand Lettering Workshop – Layout and Composition (Solid State Books, 6:30 p.m.-8:30, $60), Peter Beets Trio: Our Love Is Here to Stay, Gershwin Reimagined (Blues Alley, 8 p.m. and 10 p.m., $25)

TUESDAY, MAY 7

EL CRABBE: Today is the start of the Brookland’s Finest Bar and Kitchen seasonal crab-and-beer pairing dinners. Through the duration of crab season, enjoy three boiled crabs with spicy andouille sausage, corn, roasted red potatoes all in an Old Bay broth and accompanied by a DC Brau beer. This week’s beer is the El Hefe Speaks hefeweizen, the original recipe of which was developed by Brookland’s Finest owners. (Brookland’s Finest Bar and Kitchen, 5:30 p.m.-10:30 p.m., $35)

UH OH: Screwed the pooch. Spilled the Mumbo sauce. Crapped the dancefloor. Euphemisms for messing up are nice, but this event is a space to say it like it really is. FuckUp Nights is described as “a global movement where stories of failed businesses and projects are shared, questioned, and celebrated,” so hear from three professionals who’ve had their share of fuckups, laugh, and learn. Your ticket includes one draft beer. (Wunder Garten, 6:30 p.m.-9 p.m., $10)

TOUGH CROWD: When life gives you lemons, turn those lemons into jokes. Today is the first evening in a 6-week series dedicated to teaching you how to write a comedy routine based on the tough stuff. You’ll spend four weeks with local comic Ali Cherry workshopping material, followed by a group trip to attend a comedy show and a chance to perform your routine the last week. (200 I St. SE, 7 p.m.-9 p.m., $50)

WINNINGLY WET: You know that May is American Wetlands Month, but do you know how you’ll celebrate the defenders of our boggy banks? The 30th Annual National Wetlands Awards are open to the public, so go celebrate the work of wetlands champions who’ve shown outstanding dedication to the protection of our nation’s wetlands. They’ve been literally out standing in the wetlands, the least you can do is stand out in a garden for an evening and clap. (United States Botanic Garden, 6 p.m.-8 p.m., FREE with registration)

MORE: East City Bookshop Presents Elizabeth Acevedo, With The Fire On High (The Miracle Theatre, 7 p.m.-10 p.m., $25-35), The West Wing Trivia (Pinstripes Georgetown, 7 p.m.-9 p.m., FREE with registration), Silent Disco Yoga (Dupont Underground, 6:30 p.m.-7:30 p.m., $22), Cooking Class: Pasta & Dessert (Via Umbria, 7 p.m.-9 p.m., $60), Botanical Perfume Making (Shop Made In DC – Wharf, 6 p.m.-8 p.m., $75)

WEDNESDAY, MAY 8

GINUWINERY: D.C. native Elgin Baylor Lumpkin didn’t become Ginuwine, “one of R&B’s preeminent love men,” until 1996, the year his debut album was released and “Pony” became a number-one hit. I just learned this because whoever wrote the bio for this concert on City Winery’s website did a remarkably thorough and descriptive job. Come for the Ginuwine history, stay for the chance to sing along to “Pony” with a glass of rose in your hand. (City Winery, 8 p.m., $60-$75)

BREW DMV: Want to try Virginia and Maryland beer without leaving the District? Join Calvert Woodley for a walk-around beer tasting featuring breweries from the D.C. area. You’ll get to sample flagship brews as well as seasonal specials out of a complimentary tasting glass and snack on charcuterie and cheese from the one and only La Cheeserie. If you fall in love with a brew, you can purchase all featured beers for a special discounted price. (University of the District of Columbia Student Center, 6 p.m.-8 p.m., $25)

BLACK, HERE, QUEER: Dr. Nikki Lane, professor of gender and sexuality studies, American studies, and anthropology, is hosting summer school and class is in session starting tonight. This first lecture will cover Black LGBT pride celebrations in the U.S. and their origins here in the District. Subsequent lectures will cover “From Stripping to Dog Walking: Cardi B and the Rise of Women Who Rap,” “On Being Ratchet and Boojie: Black Class Politics in the 21st Century,” and “Wakanda Forever: Reading Blackness in Film.” (RedRocks H Street, 6 p.m.-9 p.m., $20-$70)

VIDA Y MUERTE: Feeling like death after Cinco de Mayo? The Mexican Cultural Institute hosts renowned photographer Harvey Stein for a discussion about the images from his latest book, Mexico Between Life and Death. The book covers fourteen trips to small Mexican towns during festivals that highlight the country’s “unique relationship to death, myth, ritual, and religion.” (Mexican Cultural Institute, 6:45 p.m.-8:30 p.m., FREE with registration)

MORE: Trivia (Colony Club, 7 p.m.-9 p.m., FREE), Author David Brooks, The Second Mountain (The National Cathedral, 7 p.m.-8:30 p.m., $32-$45), Spring & Swing at Woodrow Wilson House: A Garden Soiree Under the Stars (Woodrow Wilson House, 6 p.m.-9 p.m., $35-$55), Bee Colony Increase Workshop (Bee CARE Institute, 6 p.m., $65)

THURSDAY, MAY 9

CRANES IN THE SKY: It’s that time of the month, Evenings at the Edge is back with an Animals In Art themed night, inspired by upcoming exhibition The Life of Animals in Japanese Art. Activities include speed Japanese lessons, haiku writing, talks on how animals have captivated artists throughout history and across cultures, a taiko drumming performance by Chin Daiko, and origami and calligraphy stations. New media work by the local artists collaborative Plakookee will also be on display. (National Gallery of Art, 6 p.m.-9 p.m., FREE with registration)

FUNK IT UP: If you want to be funky but like to be indoors, enjoy this Funk Parade Preview at the Kennedy Center. The Funk Parade is this Saturday, but you can get at taste of the historic U Street Corridor festival this evening from the comfort of a folding chair. This preview will feature Funk Parade, The MusicianShip, [WORD]play Open Mic Sessions, and Janelia McNair Sanya. (The Kennedy Center, 6 p.m., FREE)

LIP SERVICE: D.C. makeup artist Aleah Rae founded LIPP Beauty to give lipstick lovers cruelty-free and customizable lip color palettes that suit all skin tones. Play with colors and make your own portable, multi-color lipstick compact, complete with a mirror, brush, and inspirational quote, under the watchful eye of Ms. Rae herself. This event is technically for creating a Mother’s Day gift, but I’m giving you permission to keep your lip creation for yourself. (Femme Fatale DC, 6 p.m.-9 p.m., $30)

DUCK, DUCK, MORE DUCK: D.C. has many hot ducks, but they’re not just a feast for the eyes. Hill Center’s The Whole Beast series features the duck this week, so get your net and your duck call ready, because it’s time for some population control. This class will teach you how to use the whole duck, from bill to weird little feet. You’ll learn how to butcher, cook, and conserve a whole duck, including rendering duck fat, making duck stock, curing duck leg confit, searing duck breast, and frying up duck cracklings. Chef Mark Haskell is no quack, and your ticket includes wine or beer. (The Hill Center, 6:30 p.m.-8:30 p.m., $65)

MORE: Broadway and Disney Sing Along (Local 16, 7 p.m.-11 p.m., FREE), National Symphony Orchestra: Symphonie fantastique & Sibelius’s Violin Concerto (The Kennedy Center, 7 p.m., $15-$89), Ani DiFranco, No Walls and the Recurring Dream (Sixth & I, 7 p.m.-8 p.m., $42-$50) , Chocolate and Wine Pairing (City Winery, 6:30 p.m., $35), Board Game Night (Labyrinth Game Shop, 6 p.m.-10 p.m., FREE)