In yet another attack on D.C. statehood from our besuited federal neighbors, it appears Joe Biden is forgoing the city’s classic “End Taxation Without Representation” license plates.

Axios DC reported on ‘Plategate’ Wednesday, saying it reviewed more than a years’ worth of video footage of the presidential vehicles, and the protest motto is glaringly absent from their license plates. (Biden’s team, for their part, never responded to Axios’ inquiries on the subject.) D.C. Del. and statehood champion Eleanor Holmes Norton has written the president, she announced Thursday, requesting the presidential and vice presidential vehicles carry the slogan.

“The use of the standard D.C. license plate…will help communicate the disenfranchisement of D.C. residents to the country and to the world,” she wrote.

Biden’s predecessor removed the plates, as did George W. Bush. But Bill Clinton traveled behind the slogan, and Barack Obama, at the behest of D.C. councilmembers, also added the phrase to his plates in 2013. (At the Department of Motor Vehicles, the slogan is automatically included on most D.C. license plates unless a resident requests that it be left off.)

Biden’s license plate omission may seem like a particularly stinging slap in the face to Washingtonians, considering the 46th president has previously pledged his support to making D.C. the 51st state, but he is a politician, and this would not be the first time one of Those Types said one thing and did another.

Either way, since that D.C. flag on “the Beast” (that’s what his limo is called, apparently) looks awfully lonely, we’ve come up with a list of potential phrases to spice up his rides, in the absence of any statehood solidarity.

‘A stupid son of a bitch’

During a hot-mic moment last year, Biden was caught calling Fox reporter Peter Doocy a “stupid son of a bitch,” after Doocy asked if the president thought inflation was a political liability. Facetiously, Biden responded, “no, that’s a great asset, more inflation” before adding “What a stupid son of a bitch.”

‘I’d rather be on Amtrak’ 

The man is a fan of passenger rail. He earned the “Amtrak Joe” nickname in his senatorial days, when he’d take the train from D.C. back home to Delaware nightly. Just last week, he visited the crumbling Baltimore & Potomac Tunnel, pledging to rehab the Northeast corridor’s largest bottleneck as a part of his $1 trillion infrastructure plan.

‘Who saved who?’ 

Willow, a short hair tabby, joined the First Family in January last year, after she allegedly jumped on stage during First Lady Dr. Jill Biden’s speech at a campaign stop. It was love at first-interruption, and Dr. Biden adopted the cat shortly after. Willow became the fourth presidential pet to call the White House home. In 2021, they welcomed a German shepard puppy, Commander, after their 13-year-old dog Champ died earlier that year. Major, another German shepard, moved into 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue with the couple in 2020, but after a rough adjustment and several biting incidents, the Biden’s rehomed the two-year-old rescue to a “quieter environment with family friends.”

‘DON’T talk to me ’til I’ve had my coffee Jeni’s’

While DCist/WAMU doesn’t know Biden’s coffee consumption habits, we do know that we have a lactose-loving legislator at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. His first local scoop was doled out at the Jeni’s on Barracks Row.

‘No malarkey!’

He’s already traveled around in one large vehicle with his cringey-but-meant-to-be-endearing slogan slapped across it, so …

‘BFD’

Before his more recent hot-mic gaffe in which he dragged Peter Doocy, Biden’s other most memorable “sir, that’s still on” moment came in 2010, when he whispered in his then-boss’ ear “this is a big fucking deal” as he signed the Affordable Care Act.

‘Nothing [classified] to see here’

After classified docs turned up in one of Biden’s old offices and his Wilmington, Delaware home, he should probably just cover his bases, right?

‘My other ride has two wheels’

Since he’s not making any best friends distancing himself from the statehood fight, the least he can do is ally himself with the city’s cycling community. This plate will let everyone know: had he not fallen off his bike (he’s fine) in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware, he’d certainly be cruising to all of his presidential appointments on two wheels.

‘(The USA’s) future is so bright/I need my aviators’ 

In POTUS’ own words last week: “I’ve never been more optimistic in my life about the future of this country.” Well, that makes one of us.