We crunched some numbers.

This is what happens when you’re selected for The Washington Post’s Date Lab.

For some reason, the Washington Post is lending a ton of space today to a celebration of the fifth anniversary of its Date Lab feature — a constant source of entertainment for us DCist editors in which the paper fixes people up with one another and documents their dates. (Journalism!) But based on the results, if Date Lab was a real dating service, they’d probably be have to declare bankruptcy.