All Stories
“I’m just trying to remind myself that you’re not a bitch.”
“It’s a funeral. Don’t wear shorts.”
“Well, what the hell does he want then? The Cheesecake Factory literally has everything.”
“Largo? That’s Spanish for large.”
“Well, as a straight, cisgender white man, I can tell you that…”
“Have you been watching Fat Bear Week??”
“I’m glad you dumped him. He was stuck in second-wave feminism.”
Pedestrian: “Oh my god! A D.C. cyclist who stops at a red light! Thank you!”
Cyclist: “I’m from Holland.”
“Speaking of subs, I bought a tactical whip for my self-defense class.”
