“That was several years ago, back when I was still interesting.”
“He’s 26, he got dumped by his girlfriend, and he’s living in a commune. I mean, come ON, figure your shit out!”
“Speaking of subs, I bought a tactical whip for my self-defense class.”
“We saw this thing about puberty and I didn’t get any of it. I said, ‘Bro, what is this?’”
“I didn’t expect so many college kids. I was walking between vape passes, kisses, and gossip.”
“What am I going to complain about without Metro?”
“Like the university he worked for, he was well-endowed.”
“Sorry, this is what happens when Ivy League grads get together!”
“Oh, please. You wear your sluttiness on your sleeve … even when you’re sleeveless.”
“Good luck at the debt ceiling hearing! Oh, and enjoy your trip to Paris!!”
