It turns out Washington isn’t that dirty, despite certain commentariats’ insistence that the city is overrun with pooping hobos.

To think, it’s not even ratings sweeps. Last night, WUSA9 unveiled this big story about how Metro stations are dirty. This is nothing new, of course — the “there’s nothing to fear — until we score a bunch of file footage with ominous music!” package is a local television news staple. But sometimes these productions just get so ridiculous, it’d be a crime to not poke some fun.