Donovan McNabb appears to be on his way out of Washington, and allow me to shed half a tear that his tenure in burgundy and gold has ended so laughably.
Rex Grossman overthrowing a wide-open Terence Austin on fourth down closed out a disappointing 2010 season for the Redskins. I didn’t expect a winning season, but the poor play calling, dancing linemen and incessant Haynesworth/McNabb pouting made the losing that much more painful. From pain comes laughter, though, so let’s take a look back at the best moments in the Redskins’ (latest) Year Of Failure, sorted in descending order by the level of psychotic tears laughter each moment produced.
Donovan McNabb’s agent, Fletcher Smith, has a very special Christmas message for the Washington Redskins: this tirade statement, which aims “to clarify some misinterpretations” about McNabb’s thoughts on playing in Washington. A frequent target of the statement: Redskins offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan, who, according to Smith, didn’t take too kindly to McNabb suggesting how he do his job.
Who had Week 15 in their “How Soon Will Donovan McNabb Get Benched” pool? If you did, it’s time to collect your winnings.
I wish I could muster more outrage at Graham Gano. Statistically, he’s the worst kicker in the NFL, having made less than 70 percent of his field goals — so expecting him to fail isn’t an unreasonable position. But when Graham and his six-day beard lined up for the potential game-tying extra point yesterday, it wasn’t that I knew it was going to fail — it’s that I was prepared for it to fail.
Less than ten minutes into yesterday’s embarrassing loss to the Giants, the Redskins had allowed two rushing touchdowns and 118 yards of offense. The cameras then cut to a shot of Redskins defensive coordinator Jim Haslett, looking bewildered by what has transpired, half-heartedly uttering an expletive that rhymes with cluck.
It’s been a long time since the Redskins last defeated the Giants. You’d have to go back to Week 15 of 2007 to find one in the win column, when the Redskins were charging their way into the playoffs, spurred on by a sizzling 66-yard passing performance (yes, for the game) by Todd Collins. Joe Gibbs must have taken the recipe to beating the Giants with him into retirement, as the Zorn Era ushered in a brutal stretch against Washington’s division rival. Games got out of hand by halftime, if not earlier, and the Giants held an astounding 11-minute average advantage in possession over the two-year span. Neither team is going into Sunday’s game on a particularly high note, although the Redskins defense has played better in the two weeks following the Philadelphia disaster and the Giants stole a win from Jacksonville to snap a two-game slide. Only thoughtful, detailed analysis can truly show us who will take this sure-to-be epic NFC East clash.
The Redskins had every reason to win yesterday. The Vikings have been a disappointing mess of a team this year after reaching the NFC Championship game last January. Minnesota can’t score points. Their passing game is weak. They turn the ball over with reckless abandon. They just dumped their head coach. But the Redskins just didn’t look up to the task yesterday, putting in an all-around lackluster effort — punctuated by a few killer mistakes — and gifted the Vikings a 17-13 victory. The agenda for this meeting of The Eternal Pessimist’s Club is presented herein for your review.
So how do you like Donovan McNabb and his (reasonably) fat contract now? The Redskins prized quarterback threw for 376 yards and a touchdown in a 19-16 overtime barn-burner merciless-torture-on-the-eyes victory over the Tennessee Titans. In case you’re doing the math: yes, McNabb put up nearly 400 yards in a game that had only one offensive touchdown (the Titans scored their touchdown on a punt return that featured a blatant block in the back). The game wasn’t ugly by conventional standards. Both teams moved the ball, minimized the number of three-and-out series and made big plays in all facets of the game. But scoring opportunities in opponent territory featured both a lack of execution and some laughable play-calling.
In the midst of a feverish haze on Monday night, I repeatedly heard the words “Michael Vick” and “touchdown,” as if I was imagining a world where large men lay down on defense and run up the middle down by 28. Those words kept repeating and repeating, with adjectives like “embarrassing,” “humiliating” and “putrid” mixed in. I figured it was the drugs, but was sorely disappointed when I found out it was Larry, Sonny and Sam running out of ways to describe what they were seeing on the field. (Sam, as he always does, did manage to call every Redskins touchdown a turning point.) The Redskins were getting destroyed by the Eagles, and no one was stepping in to do anything about it. Teams have off-nights, but those usually don’t come after not having played a game in two weeks and announcing a long-term contract extension for your quarterback. Now that the hysterics are out of the way, it’s time to turn to Sunday’s game against Tennessee with the comfort of knowing that things couldn’t possibly get any worse. Right?
