Stop trying to make “escaleftor” happen! It’s not going to happen!

Yes, people are taking bets on when it will break.

Tens of thousands of people take Metro and Metrobus on a daily basis. Some have mastered the art of squeezing on to that last train, getting up that escalator quickly and never missing a bus. Here are some of the moves that make that possible.

Celebrate! The south entrance of the Dupont Circle Metro station reopens this Sunday after eight months of work replacing escalators.

Metro officials have pinned this morning’s escalator accident on a woman’s bag or clothing getting snagged on a metal panel, but at least one rider who witnessed the incident says the panel was already loose.

It was a scary scene at the L’Enfant Plaza Metrorail station during rush hour this morning when five people were hurt in an escalator accident.

Starting tomorrow, the Dupont Circle Metro station’s southern entrance will close down for at least eight months so three escalators can be replaced.

UPDATE (4:00 p.m.): We’re informed that the situation appears to have calmed down and things are getting back to normal.

You’ll have to forgive some Metro riders for their jumpiness when they read that the escalators at Foggy Bottom were having some trouble this afternoon — after all, even though the transit agency just unveiled a brand new moving stairway a little more than a week ago, the station’s escalators have been the scene of a few incredibly disruptive incidents over the past year or so. But not to fret, Metro riders — spokesperson Dan Stessel tells DCist that today’s disruption was simply a safety precaution.

A wise man once told me that if you lower your expectations enough, you’ll rarely be disappointed. It appears that philosophy has found a home at WMATA, where a new report shows that Metrorail trains are now meeting agency goals for on-time performance — but only because the transit agency lowered its standards.